So, Friday I left everybody hanging with a Big Fat Negative (BFN) on our digital Home pregnancy test. I was shocked and in disbelief when I saw it. Suddenly the world was closing in on me. I had trouble thinking. I managed to send a text message to my IP's with the news.
We arranged for a BETA test on Saturday to test my HCG levels. I was 18 days post ovulation at that point and 8 days late for my period. No signs of anything either way, but I'm not one to really get symptoms of pregnancy. Most of the time, I just am and I don't feel any different.
Seeing as how we live in Alaska, the lab work is sent to Seattle and processed there. It would be 48 hours when I finally got my results back. Today.
Today I went in for the second test (HCG numbers should double in 48 hours) and had my blood drawn again. Then the Medical Assistant came back with my results from Saturday. 16. A number high enough to indicate I was indeed producing HCG and was indeed pregnant but also a number low enough to signify a non-viable pregnancy. At this point, I'm doing okay. I'm extremely disappointed but I think after all this time, I have come to accept the inevitable. Tomorrow I will find out today's number. In a normal pregnancy, even one with low numbers, those numbers will double in 48 hours. There still is a sliver of hope to hang on to and that's what we are doing.