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My heart is breaking.......................
- Apr 1, 2011 at 6:06 AM
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- Comments (10) Total Views (169) Everyone can see this journal post.
My heart is literally breaking.. my family is ruined. I am shaking so bad I don't know what to do with myself.. Lord, please help me.
Comments:
It is going to be a very long tunnel.. I'm SERIOUSLY considering divorcing my husband. I'm so upset.
Not to be nosey, but did he do something unforgivable in your eyes?
Yes.. I found messages on facebook last night about him talking about having sex with one of my friends & some random woman at the hotel he works at. I KNOW in my heart that he hasn't physically cheated, but in my mind, he HAS cheated. I can't believe this. He is the last person I would expect this from. I'm in such shock.. I've lost TOTAL trust for him & my heart hurts.
Now I get it, have you confronted him with your findings? What your feeling right now is one of the worst pains in the world, I feel for you! If you haven't discussed it, you know your gonna have to get it out in the open, if you ever want to move forward.You we're right when you said" the tunnel" is going to be very long, cause once that trust is broken, it's gonna take some doing to fix it but, it is fixable! Let him know what this is doing to you and turn the situation around and ask him how he would feel if you did this. If you need to vent, feel free to message me, I'll listen! I'm so sorry your going through this, there's nothing fair about it!
I confronted him right after I found out. I never thought in a million years I would be one of those women saying "my husband cheated on me." I just can't believe it. I have a huge feeling I'll never be able to forgive him. But I feel guilty for wanting to leave because we have two young daughters that adore him, and who he's a great father to. I don't want to ruin their lives because I can't deal with his cheating.
Your still in shock of the whole thing, that's gonna take a while to get a" grip" on the reality of it. If he physically didn't cheat on you then maybe it can be mended. It may not seem like it now but over time and the shock wears off you may see it differently. Look at it like this,and I'm saying this because like you said, there's a lot at stake here, what he said was in "words", very hurtful words, He didn't act on it! (thank god) What he wrote, most men think! Your husband just happen to write it in words and got caught! Now if he had acted on it, that would be a deal breaker, I wouldn't even be telling you to look at the positive side. I don't know what excuse he gave you or if he is even apologetic but I hope for your sake he is telling you he made a big mistake! If he isn't then I would be a little more worried! your gonna be hurt and have a lot of doubt for a very long time so,I hope he's up for a lot of" I'm sorrys!"
I'm trying to look on the positive side..and I'm trying not to make any harsh decisions right now. I know I feel betrayed, hurt, & overly emotional. We talked about things earlier & I told him he can stay here for now & we will just have to see how things go. He told me he is glad he got caught & got that reality slap.. that I don't deserve to be hurting or treated the way he has shown over the last few weeks. He is extremely apologetic. And although I partially believe he would never physically cheat on me, I just hope he never will say things like that again.
Honestly i don't think he will do that again now that he was caught. Maybe it was a big ole reality check and like he said, he was glad he was caught! This is gonna take time, something similar happened to me and my husband and no joke, it took me a couple years to finally get over it .Everyone heals differently! We're now 12 yrs. into this marriage and everything's ok, I don't bring it up anymore. Give yourself time and if your having a bad time of it, remind him what he did to you. I think you 2 will be fine someday, sounds like he does love you, he made a terrible mistake! Like I said earlier, write me/ send me a friend request if you'd like, I'll listen. I wish you the best!.
I DONT BLAME YOU FOR FEELING THAT WAY AND THINKING OF A DIVORCE I MEAN IF THAT HAPPENED TO ME IT WOULD BE VERY HEARTBREAKING AS WELL I AM SURE FOR ANY WOMAN THEY WOULD SAY THE SAME THING.. HE SHOULDNT HAVE DONE THAT. GOOD LUCK HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT BUT IF THERE IS A TRUST ISSUE THERE THEN TALK TALK TALK ABOUT IT WITH HIM MAKE SURE HE NEVER SHUTS YOU OUT AND YOU TWO HAVE COMMUNICATION TO HELP WITH THIS BUT YOU AND HIM CAN WORK ON THE RELATIONSHIP BUT IF IT WAS ME NO! I WOULD BE SO CRUSHED IT WOULD TAKE A LONG LONG TIME IF I EVEN CONSIDERED GIVING HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!
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I'm sorry! I hope whatever it is thats happening to you gets better really quickly. Remember theres always light at the end of the tunnel!
- anichols1
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