he hasnt come to see her in six months and doesnt pay i really just want him out of our lifes forever i know sounds harsh but its not she is happy with her life how it is now i also want to look into getting her last name changed to mine anyone know how to go about doing that well anything would be great thanks

Add A Comment


Apr. 2, 2011 at 9:50 PM

You need a lawyer. According to your state there are abandonment  laws. It should be easy but you will have to wait to the time for your state. Just put on your tuff skin. when you post this because I know you just want advice on going about this. People are going to attack you.

Message Friend Invite

Apr. 2, 2011 at 10:07 PM

You need to look at YOUR states laws.  But warning... 6 months is nothing in terms of time its usually 2 yrs. or more of no contact.  

Message Friend Invite

Apr. 2, 2011 at 10:51 PM

Look into just legally changing her last name for now....it's doable.

Message Friend Invite

Apr. 2, 2011 at 11:19 PM

Colorado is 1 yr no contact or child support then you can file abandonment and have the rights relinquished but other states are different......

Message Friend Invite

Apr. 3, 2011 at 12:25 AM I know all states are different but chances are for a last name change you're gonna have to go to court. My mil did that for my husband(she wanted him to match her 2 younger kids by 2nd husband) and she played dirty until hubbys dad just gave up.
I agree though 6 months is really nothing, check your state laws and then just be patient. However unless HE signs the papers, you're in for a long costlu fight

Message Friend Invite

Apr. 3, 2011 at 2:57 AM

I can't believe people are saying 6 months is "nothing". 6 months of no contact from her dad is not "nothing" to that child, or to the mother who is having to explain why he won't come around. Maybe it's not enough to legally have his rights as a father taken away, but it's not "nothing". Trust me.

I'm sorry, mama. I know in my state you can petition for a name change pretty easily. The father has to be notified, but if he can't be reached it will just run in the paper and that will be considered his notice. At least that's how it works here.

Message Friend Invite

Apr. 3, 2011 at 5:20 PM In texas it 1 year no contact no pay and I couldn't get my daughters name changed till her biodad signed over rights...but I was getting her name changed to my husbands. A good lawyer might be able to convince your ex to sign over rights, especially if he doesn't want to pay child support.

Message Friend Invite

Apr. 3, 2011 at 8:21 PM

Good Luck!

Message Friend Invite

Apr. 3, 2011 at 11:41 PM Check your state laws. 6 months is a long time for you and dd but in the eyes of the law mist states it's a year or more.
Good luck

Message Friend Invite

Apr. 4, 2011 at 12:52 PM

thanks everyone for advice he has never really been around since she was born he comes when its good for him and if anyone has something crappy to say then say it cuz i am the only who has been there for her and the one who has to try and explain to her why her dad doesnt come see her she is four and asks me why dont  daddy josh want to come see me. so again what you all had to say helps thanks   

Message Friend Invite (Original Poster)

Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in