So here we are back at CD1 after another miscarriage, chemical this time and of all days I find out on April Fools day that my levels didn't rise they dropped. I am beyond exhausted with all the trying to conceive stuff so as my last resort we are using the clear blue easy fertility monitor this cycle, and nothing else. I am so tired of the temping, charting, journals, timing sex, spending a ton of money on OPKS, and etc. JUST EXAUGHSTED! What sucks more, is seeing all my friends going on pregnant without me, every's like a slap in my face every time I see their bellies, ultra sounds, status updates with how the pregnancy is going. Don't get me wrong I am very happy for all my pregnant mamas out there, Just sucks so much I can't share that with them. Every time. Why can't I STAY pregnant? Why won't my body make our baby. It's not fair with how all these girls who don't even want a baby can so easily have babies. I never thought last October it would be this hard. Never would have thought it. But I can't just give up either, with every let down I receive the more determined I get to try again, and succeed..I just pray this 3rd time is the real deal. I don't know how much more my sanity can handel any more bad news.

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Apr. 3, 2011 at 2:45 AM

I know how u feel me and husband went thru the same thing we lost so many the last was the worst a set of twins that i lost at 4 1/2 mths and it always left me thinking why me so many bad parents who are blessed everyday but not me we finally just gave up last year i had my appointment to get put on birth control when we found out we were expecting i'm due june 6th its a scaring and exciting feeling all at once all i can say is keep your head up leave everything in the heads of the good lord above like someone once told me GOD nevers gives you more than you can handle your time willl come be patient when the time is right you'll be blessed with your baby

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Apr. 3, 2011 at 8:21 PM

Good Luck!

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Apr. 3, 2011 at 9:18 PM

I was in your shoes about 6 months ago. I won't tell you it will happen when you least expect it, cause that just made me even more mad myself. But I will tell you, you aren't the only one. I pray it will happen for you. 

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Apr. 4, 2011 at 10:32 AM

I totally understand how you feel. We had to go through the same thing but for a year and a half. Finally I went and saw the infertility doctor (I don't ovulate normally), and after several different drugs, numerous ultrasounds, and two insemination's later I finally got pregnant! It was a long road, but was well worth it. For my second It was a total surprise, i had stopped my birth control and was going to start going through infertility again, and I came up pregnant on my own, this baby is a total miracle! We never thought I could get pregnant on my own.

I can't stand these women that get pregnant and don't realize how amazing that gift is! I cherish every moment!

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Apr. 11, 2011 at 4:51 PM

I love you :(

I wish you were still pregnant with me, BUT you are going to be blessed so soon! I pray for you every night before I fall asleep :)

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Apr. 11, 2011 at 4:52 PM

Thank you so much hun :) Means a lot! I know our time is coming soon here..I know it :) 

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