Qwietpleez's Journal

Musings, rantings and dreams . . .


I used to think love was simply love. I'd felt it and I'd given it. I thought I knew all there was to know. Then a special love came into my life, I'd never felt anything like it before.

There are many people in my life I love with all my heart. There is one among them however, who has impacted my life in a way I never expected. I knew the moment I met him there was something special, something different about him. I could see it when our eyes met for the first time. I could feel it when I held his hand in mine.

I thought I knew what happiness was before he came into my life but the happiness he brought me far surpassed any joy I had ever felt. I thought I knew what love was but he showed me love like I'd never known. He changed me. I can't remember now what life was like before him. I cannot imagine what life would be like without him.

He showed me things about myself I would have never known. He showed me I was stronger than I thought I was. He showed me I could love more than I ever thought I could. He taught me to look at the world in a way I had never looked before. I'd been blind before he opened my eyes. Every moment I spent with him was a new beginning.

He rescued me and for that he is my hero. When we first met I thought I would be the one to mold his life, to teach him and give to him all he would need. I had no idea he would be the one to teach me the things that mattered most in life. I am more in awe of him today than I was the day they first placed him in my arms and his tiny little hand wrapped around my finger and stole my heart.

My son is autistic, he truly is my hero. I have watched him grow and struggle and overcome since the day he was born. There were times I wished more for him but now I know I was the one who needed more and he gave it to me. He showed me a world many will never see. If I have done anything of worth in this life, it was because of God looked down upon the earth and chose me to care for one of his special angels. Me, chosen by God himself, I cannot think of a greater honor or privilege.

My very special love for my very special child is a blessing and a gift. One I am thankful for each and every moment of my day. The most amazing thing of all, this child loves me. Some said he would never know love, he does. I see it in his eyes, I feel it in his embrace and I hear it in his voice. It is the purest of love . . . it is a special love.



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Apr. 4, 2011 at 3:10 PM

Beautiful Crystal!

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Apr. 4, 2011 at 3:11 PM

I wouldn't call a child 'special'.... that makes it sound like they are weird or different, it isolates them in some other class...............  I totally disagree with saying that.  like, 'Hi, This is my 'Special' Child'.... ---  your kid will really resent that.

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Apr. 4, 2011 at 3:21 PM

I wouldn't call a child 'special'.... that makes it sound like they are weird or different, it isolates them in some other class...............  I totally disagree with saying that.  like, 'Hi, This is my 'Special' Child'.... ---  your kid will really resent that.

All kids are special to begin with . . . My children each know they are special in different ways, resent it? Not even close. My son is now an adult and he has never once felt this way, none of my children have. Besides, he is weird and different and he's proud of who he is!

To each his own but the only way this can be taken as a negative is when someone places a negative connotation on it.

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Apr. 4, 2011 at 3:37 PM

Referring to a special needs child as "special" is better than "retarded", "off", "strange" many people feel that it's okay to refer to children with special needs that way. When this world can look at a child  as just a child and not label them with anything-but accept them for who they are and whatever issues they have and STILL look past all that to see just the "child"-Then you can make it an issue. Right now you are just missing the point of a beautifully written journal about a mother's love for her child.

Crystal, again-beautiful journal :)

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Apr. 4, 2011 at 3:50 PM

Beautifully written! Hugs!

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Apr. 4, 2011 at 3:50 PM

I agree with Alynn74.  This is such a beautifully written journal post....you put into words exactly how I feel about my son as well.  Thank you so much for sharing. :-)

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Apr. 4, 2011 at 3:50 PM

From dictionary.com:

Special "distinguished or different from what is ordinary or usual: a special occasion; to fix something special."

Autistic kids are different from what is ordinary or usual, and that's what makes them special! It isn't condescending or rude, it's a celebration of who they are.

Love the journal!!

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Apr. 4, 2011 at 3:59 PM

Beautifully said.

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Apr. 4, 2011 at 4:04 PM

Fiber, Crystal-just think fiber....

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Apr. 4, 2011 at 4:07 PM

Very touching!  Thank you for sharing.

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