Its 3:20 am and my youngest daughter of two months is finally asleep. Im suffering from postpartum depression so things have been rough. It just is so weird. I was so happy after my daughter was born, but seems like things have gone downhill. She suffers from reflux, colic and a milk protien sensitvity. I dont mean to vent, but I have no support system what so ever. I mainly want to vent about my husband.

He is no help to me at all. I understand he works full time (patrolling in his vehicle for 8 hours a day, playing on his phone or parking and taking naps), but I am losing my mind. I have a 4 year old daughter, I should add as well. Anyways, I had a csesction and his mother came to stay for a week. While she was here she tried to help me with house work, but he insisted she not help because he would, so she went home. Since then, I have not got more than 3-4 hours of sleep at night, have severe back pain, recovering from a csection and a kidney infection. I sleep in our recliner because my daughter is up all night crying with reflux and by the time i wake up in the morning, my feet are doubled in size. Not once has he ever stayed up all night with her or did he ever help me with laundry. Ever. 

I thought I was dealing as well as I could with staying up all night then getting up in the morning with my older daughter, making sure the house was semi-clean and also making sure he is happy....or so I thought. The other night he came home and just wouldnt talk to me. I begged him to tell me what was bothering him, but he locked himself in our room and told me to leave him the hell alone. The next day he went to work and then texted me the reason he was so mad at me. It was because I havent been cooking and doing laundry (which he said he would help with because I was not to lift the heavy baskets up the stairs). He told me that he was going to stop expecting anything from me because he is constantly disappointed. He also told me in so many words that I havent been taking care of my oldest daughter as well as I could be. Since then, he has apologized and I have tried to move on and forgive him, but I am always finding myself crying and wishing that things were different. Sometimes I wish I would have never of married him. I feel trapped and he makes me feel worse. I have no support as we live far from our family due to his job. I try to talk to my mom about it, but her advice is to make sure dinner is cooked and plate is ready for him every night and to make sure I am offering myself to him more......I feel helpless, tired and very depressed. I saw my doctor and I am on wellbutrin.....I just dont think it is going to help.......

I also just had to add the fact that my "wonderful" husband just had to have a new dog as well. Let me rephrase that, he had to have a puppy. He swore he would take care of it (take it out, feed it, ect)...surprise, surprise, its slowly becoming my responsibility. on top of the house, the bills, the kids, cooking and now a puppy to add on to all of that. I could just SCREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Comments:

premi...
Apr. 5, 2011 at 3:43 AM

My experience is sorta like yours but i worked until the day of my due date and i worked up until 2months of my 2nd due date stayed home 2 months an went back to work. The father has to play a part in helping he helped make her than when he gets home u hand him the baby and say i cant cook or clean unless u help paying the bills is great but raising these kids is a partner ship! he is being selfish he cant lock him self in the room and not help out and complain life is not that easy. but u not wanting to be married is something you have to feel from Ur heart i said the same thing and when he was gone i was like wow this is it? like no arguing no fighting no stressing he has the kids when i work on my off days i pick the kids up so i mean being alone is apart of life my family has not helped me at all i was prego at 17 and grew up at 17 so if i can u can Hun complaining wont help u cause he obviously isn't worried about nothing but himself so you have to get out of thinking this is forever in a few months your baby will be getting out of the newborn stage and i mean every pregnancy is different so u stick it out for a few weeks and you'll figure if the family is worth keeping together or not if you no that Ir done than don't waste anymore time trying to rekindle the relationship :) xoxoxoxoxoxo it will get better promise :)

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catha...
Apr. 5, 2011 at 8:31 AM

I'm on Welbutrin as well. Give it a month, and it'll start working. With me it started within about 2 to 3 weeks. The change is amazing. I don't have postpartum depression, I have the regular thing, but it's helped so much. I felt really guilty about being on meds, but I just wasn't happy. That said, your husband needs to understand that helping is part of a marrige. I mean, he works 8 hours, and you're on call 24/7. Could you get him into counseling or something? What he said was extreamly hurtful, and it would certainly take me awhile to move on from that. If you ever need to talk, please add me.

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