So Im stressed and bugging bout this letter I got from GHS. It was a letter of notice of self suffieceny...I don't work. I just go to college right now. I think this one girl did some illegal IRS stuff with my stuff and it got reported to DHS. And it could be something totally different. It could just be a inquiry on what I am doing. IDK I called the worker and left a voice mail today. So it got me to thinking. I am stuggling as a single mother to make ends meat and I am getting tossed around left and right.

I did a job for a friend that involved me crossing the boarder. I told him I don't have a passport or anything and I would need that before I cross. he said no you can do it with just b.c. I still had doubt but did it. I crossed fine. Coming back was a different issue. The agents questioned the hell out of me and they didn't belive me. But since I had nothing on me they let me go and saud I had to have a passport next time, I knew I would get hassled about that but I needed hte money. 

A gal said she would help me with something and I was able to get my license back. But the whole process was terrifying cause I didn't know if the judge was going to throw me in jail or not. The chance of him doing that was very slim but I was scared to death. It's like I am trying to do right and pick myself up but I am faced with some many barriers. I have to do what I got to do to eep a roof over my kids head and I am made to feel bad for hustling.

My mother was never good with stress and anger. she would either ignore the situation until it was to late or get really angry and take it out on me. I don;t want to do either method she did. At the time I am doing these things I am doing what I think is the best cause I got to put food on the table. I get no help from mother, father, sister, brother. NO ONE helps me. I am scared with this DHS thing cause it is my only support right now. I don't want to be evicted cause I can't pay. I don;t want my utilities cut off due to non payment.

I don't like this situation. I don;t have enough distractions to keep me busy...yes I have my kid but that just fills me with worry. Like with all these risy things I have to do I hope I can be here to see you grow up............and that is a dark and messed up thought. I want a normal happy life. Not one of misery and doubt.

Add A Comment

Comments:

anich...
Apr. 6, 2011 at 9:22 PM

Well, after reading your journal, the first thing that came to mind is, you asking for trouble! i understand your just trying to make it, I get tha,t but your actually adding more stress by doing things that r gonna get you in trouble and could possibly make you lose your kid! I know you don't want that, but it's gonna catch up with you! I was a single mom for several years, I worked and went to school, in fact I worked a couple different jobs just to make it! Don't take these chances that r gonna bite you in the ass later, find another way. If it means cleaning houses, babysitting, whatever, just use your head, if it feels wrong then it is wrong!

Message Friend Invite

anich...
Apr. 6, 2011 at 9:27 PM

I don't even know you but, I honestly feel for you, I'm sure your life isn't easy! you need to find out what is up with social services, hopefully it's not bad then try to find something legit as far as work goes, even if it's cleaning homes whatever. I wish you all the best, I just don't want you to get yourself in something you can't take back!

Message Friend Invite

Chica...
Apr. 7, 2011 at 12:34 AM

Anichols1 is right about staying away from trouble because it only complicates things.  It's best to call and find out what is going on with the agencies you listed and see what you can do.  Figure out a plan to get things in order because your family is worth it.  There are many legal things you can do to earn money.  It's sad that you don't have family to lean on but you can always recruit good friends...

Message Friend Invite

Anonymous
Apr. 7, 2011 at 1:42 AM

God is good because it wasn;t what I thought it was. I also called my old boss asing him about something totally different and he was like you can come back in. So once I figure some transportation and daycare out I will be on it. You both are right gotta use my head and leave these stupid things alone cause they are stupid.

 

Anonymous (Original Poster)

anich...
Apr. 8, 2011 at 7:39 AM

Yay!!! Good for you!

Message Friend Invite

Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in