This evening my husband grabbed my 2 year old to put him on a time out, he yanked his arm hard enough that DS spun into the wall. When DS calmed down DH balled his fist into his shirt and yelled in his face demanding to know why he didn't stop his behavour when he was told to. The look on DH's face was pure rage. DS had been climbing on me off and on for about 15 min for hugs and kisses he was hurting me by accedent when he did it the past few times so I asked him to stop. 
DH's reaction on honestly scared me. When i explained to him why, he didn't get what he had done wrong at first. Now he feels horrible and wants to make it right. I don't know how he can though.
DH is normally a super sweet harmless guy, but he does have a bit of a temper. Part of me wants to forget it happened, but there have been other 'minor' things that have happened that are now not sitting well. I know DH loves DS and I know it would tare him up to lose him. But what happens if this happens again? or something worse happens? I am so lst

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Comments:

sarab...
Apr. 6, 2011 at 3:07 AM Let him know that if it does happen again you are going to have to leave with DS unless DH gets some help or anger management class to help him cause he could really hurt DS an not only will that look bad on DH but child protective services could get called on you an you could lose DS....Maybe try an explain to DH you don't want to lose him nor DS. I hope every thing works out for you!

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Nixie82
Apr. 6, 2011 at 5:31 AM

wow....angry angry men around little ones is not a good thing. Dude needs to slow his roll and chill out. Tell him to take a walk to cool down and you have to be the bad guy and be the one who doles out time outs, punishments etc until he can get that shit under wraps. It is very scary to see your spouse treat a teeny one like that. I know first hand. I made my ex leave the room, even the house til he calmed down. It is not okay to get physical like that with a child. Accidents happen when ppl are angry and god forbid it happens to your son.

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Rebec...
Apr. 6, 2011 at 9:33 AM

No one should be treated like that more or less a two year old.  He needs to go see someone so that he doesn't accidentaly hurt your kid.  This is how shaken baby syndrome happens as well as CPS. 

Maybe talk to him about councling.  I would also tell him that if you feel concerened with his action toward your child that you should be able to express it to him.  Tell him that you would want him to do the same if you get out of control.  You may even record him the next time he acts like that so he can see his own behavior played back. 

I would also suggest you make a no spanking rule for your house.  If he gets that angry he will really hurt the kid if he hits him.

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Kelly...
Apr. 6, 2011 at 12:43 PM

  You should have stepped in the minute you felt your husband was out of control.  You have to let him know you will not tolerate this behavior.  Your son needs to be protected.  Although he may love his son, he needs to find better ways to cope without having rage.  If you are concerned then you need to tell him how you feel.  Your son is only 2 years old, and behaviors at that age are trying, but a child never deserves this type of reaction.  Please think twice before leaving your son alone with him, if he has a bad temper-then maybe he needs to reach out for help. 

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Chica...
Apr. 7, 2011 at 12:27 AM

I agree with implementing a no spanking rule which it appears you may have in place. Also, definitely step in so that nothing escalates.  Maybe too, provide information on how expressing intense anger to a child is not healthy in itself.  Dads play an important role with showing kids boundaries such as when they rough house with their kids but if Dad can't restrain himself in a real life situation he is seriously hurting the father/child dynamics in the household.

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