I have always known that my sister is different from other people. She acted weird when confronted with people, preferred to do things "her way" . and there was just a way about her that people poked fun at.

She is going to be twenty two years old in six days on the 14th of April.

She has always been a great student and attended collage here where we live. She has also always been very active in the religion that my family raised us, LDS (Mormon). She has been planning on going on a mission most of her life, However she was never able to get a job and there for never saved any money for a church mission.

Since the time I was 16/17 and she was 14/15 I have been telling my dad that he should have her tested for a mild form of Down Syndrome and Autism. Well being the way my father is he never would listen to me.

Not to long ago my sister applied to go on her mission, she was accepted. She made it through the training program and was chosen to go to Atlanta Georgia. She has not been gone very long, not even a year. Today some people showed up at my parents house to talk to them, These people proceed to tell my father that my sister has had trouble with the everyday dealings of being on a mission. One example would be that she refused to board the subway train. So a Physiatrist for the church meet with my sister and concluded that she has ASPERGERS. Now due to this they are sending her home.

Everyone who has ever meet her always knew that there was something very different about her but to be pulled away from something that you so desperately wanted to do because you find out at the age of twenty two (almost) that you have this condition, well what can i say sure I feel awful for her.

They procedded to tell my parents that they would have to be gental with my sister and that she might not understand that it is her fault that she was not able to compleate her mission. They also said they where setting up counsling for her.

I don't know what will make her feel worse, that she got pulled away from her mission, found out she has Aspergers, or coming home to have her family tip toe around her because I know darn well that no one that lives in that house is going to try to understand what she has.

So how would you feel? What do you think? any advice?

Add A Comment


Apr. 8, 2011 at 7:25 PM

I have two asberger kids   be gentle tell her she will always be loved that is all they need  find her a charity to help with around your home she could help other    handicapped   kids and she would feel great my son is 21 he has always known that he was diff. but we homschooled to protect him from negative people        they get easly hurt soft hearts        I am a very protective mom even lectured a nun when she brought up some negative stuff but people need to know most special needs people just need alittle help not to be treated like sh*t   cuz i as a mom got really tired of people judging my kids by the label not giving my kids a chance                    hug it   will be ok

Message Friend Invite

Apr. 8, 2011 at 7:26 PM

wow. I am taken back that they are just dropping her from the program. I do understand why they are though. If there are things that she won't do, then they cannot take her due to safety issues.

I wish your family would take the time to deal with this as it would go a long way in helping her in the right direction versus her just sort of free flowing it alone. good luck!

Message Friend Invite

Apr. 8, 2011 at 8:29 PM

Thanks ladies, I am hoping that I can get my family to learn things that will help her but at the same time to not treat her a whole lot different. I have always protected her from kids at school, she was only two years behind me in school, lots of kids were horribleto her. So I totally understand why you would choose to home school your children.

She has to leave the missionary program because she can't handle to travel around the city and deal with all the people, use public transportation. Or that was what i was told.

Message Friend Invite (Original Poster)

Apr. 8, 2011 at 8:47 PM

I can only hope your parents educate themselves about AS before she gets home and that they go to counseling as well as your sister. They will need to go not only for support but to learn how to help her become a capable adult.

I have AS and so does my youngest daughter. I was not diagnosed until I was 51 years old. I went all of my life know I was different but always attributed it to the fact I was also a medium. Having spirits popping up when you did not want them to kind of got in the way of life and made me seem strange to everyone.

I knew I was different because I never saw the world the way the rest of the world seemed to see it, but then again I thought that was because of seeing things from both sides of the veil. It was not until I was 51 and I was at a new neurologist and we were talking about my daughter coming to see him and he just matter of factly mentioned my diagnosis.

I told him I had not been tested for AS and he looked at me dumb founded and told me I was the most intense person he had ever met. I know I had been pushing my energy forward trying to get him to do what I needed for my daughter done quickly and thought maybe that is what he was feeling.  I agreed to be tested any ways and found out I too had AS.

There were many things in life that had been very hard for me; but nothing would have been different as a child, when I was growing up and when my daughter was younger, it was thought only boys could have AS.

Message Friend Invite

Apr. 8, 2011 at 8:47 PM

I got this off wikepidea and I am wondering if anyone can help me to know if this means that because my sister has Aspergers if it is saying that this is something that could effect my children or not?

Hans Asperger described common symptoms among his patients' family members, especially fathers, and research supports this observation and suggests a genetic contribution to Asperger syndrome. Although no specific gene has yet been identified, multiple factors are believed to play a role in the expression of autism, given the phenotypic variability seen in children with AS.[2][42] Evidence for a genetic link is the tendency for AS to run in families and an observed higher incidence of family members who have behavioral symptoms similar to AS but in a more limited form (for example, slight difficulties with social interaction, language, or reading).[8] Most research suggests that all autism spectrum disorders have shared genetic mechanisms, but AS may have a stronger genetic component than autism.[2] There is probably a common group of genes where particular alleles render an individual vulnerable to developing AS; if this is the case, the particular combination of alleles would determine the severity and symptoms for each individual with AS.[8]

A few ASD cases have been linked to exposure to teratogens (agents that cause birth defects) during the first eight weeks from conception. Although this does not exclude the possibility that ASD can be initiated or affected later, it is strong evidence that it arises very early in development.[43] Many environmental factors have been hypothesized to act after birth, but none has been confirmed by scientific investigation.[44]



Message Friend Invite (Original Poster)

Apr. 8, 2011 at 8:51 PM

Hedgewitch thanks so much for your input. do you have any advice as to how to help her? The thing is that i'm not sure that my parents will do much of anything.

Message Friend Invite (Original Poster)

Apr. 9, 2011 at 11:56 PM

It seems strange to me that none of her peers caught on to her AS, being she went through school & college, plus shes been active in church. I have zero experience with AS, but my heart goes out to you, your family, and especially your sister. I can only imagine what she could be feeling after going through all this. I would believe it would benefit her to get involved with a group/organization that can get her involved with people in her similar situation, and help educate her concerning her condition & possibly ways to help her better handle things/issues that she's been dealing with do to her AS  Hopefully she'll be able to embrace it all and  see that she's not alone, she's loved no matter what, and she doesn't have to give up on her dreams. I pray all the best for your family. You're sister sounds fortunate to have you as her caring sister; she'll be needing you. Bests in Christ~

Message Friend Invite

Apr. 10, 2011 at 6:59 PM

i am trying to educated myself on this but its also shocking  to learn  that my daughter had to come home from something that she so wanted to do  because she has this.  i am thinking of how she might feel and upset she may be and i cant be there with her and put my arms around her to let her know that i love her . she will be comming home tomorrow and i feel she is so scaird  that she may even get sick to the stomach to have to get on a plane by herself . i just cant help but worry  and  want to cry at the same time.  one thing for sure  is that i will be there at the airport to pick her up

Message Friend Invite

Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in