So, as if being pregnant isn't stressful enough and sometimes scary especially if it's your first.

I go to have my first ultrasound thursday and the lady tells me that there is no heartbeat (also that I am 8.5 weeks instead of the 12.5 they were assuming I was based on my dates and all that stuff that I don't understand) of COURSE I start freaking out! what is that suppose to even mean? What exactly are you telling me?!

This is what the Dr. told me: that they don't see a heartbeat but there isn't any deteriation to the baby yet so it must have "Died" in the past day. Then she asked me if I wanted a D & C and I said NO WAY!

1. how are you going to tell me my baby is dead when I haven't had any problems lately, i don't feel any differant. wouldn't I feel something differant?! I mean for the past month and a half I have been overly aware of my body and everything that its doing. I would thinkg that I would feel SOMETHING was wrong or atleast DIFFERANT if this was the case!

2. Unless I have a visible natural miscarriage I am not going to be convinced that my baby is dead. there are medical failures, and your telling me that this baby just soo happened to die a day or so before coming to my visit and theres no deteriation... but its dead for sure...

well I went threw ALL the stages of Bereavement and decided that I like Denial best. Everyone knows that Dr.s make mistakes and stuff happens and if my baby is still alive then me passing it off as dead is not going to help me or it any.  If it's going to happen like that then it will and me stressing over it and grieving before it happens is just going to be hard and I'll do it all over again when I miscarry.

So I have another Dr. app in 2 weeks, till then it's just a waiting game to see if anything happens and if not then I'll see where we go from there. I'd be lieing if I wasn't scared to death and I'm constantly praying for everything to be ok. If ANYONE out there has some similar stories that can raise my meger hope just a little I'd appreciate it. I'm holding onto everything I can get, and until that small "chance" isn't there anymore I will contenue too.

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Apr. 8, 2011 at 11:40 PM

*hugs* when i was pregnant we couldnt afford an ultrasound so they just used the monitor thing! they couldnt find a heart beat for 14 weeks!!!! it was the worst feeling ever!!! good luck honey!!!

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Apr. 9, 2011 at 12:33 AM

I'll be saying a prayer that all is well!!

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Apr. 9, 2011 at 3:04 PM

I truly hope everything works in your favor. I just VERY recently, lost a baby and just last Sunday, my ovary ruptured, due to the ectopic pregnancy. Internal bleeding, emergency surgery, the whole shitty 9 yards. Still recovering. I've barely had a chance to grieve for the loss of the baby because of the rest of the medical crap.

Point is, if it makes you feel better, get a second opinion. But do take care of yourself. I'll be thinking of you and hoping for the best.

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Apr. 9, 2011 at 5:27 PM

I'll be thinking of you and my prayers go out to you! I didn't have anything like that happen to me when I was pregnant, but if it makes you feel any better, when I was pregnant we had an ultrasound and the doctor saw something wrong with my daughter's heart. Anyways, in that ultrasound we found out we were having a girl, which I was super excited for because I wanted a little girl, he also ended up telling me once the entire ultrasound was over that my baby had high chances of having down syndrome. He said it with no feeling at all, not even taking into consideration what my reaction was going to be or how i was going to feel about it. He said it so blatantly, and that was the end of the conversation, he didn't even let me respond to what he was saying. I remember not even caring or even being happy that it was a girl, I just wanted a healthy baby. I don't even know how I walked out of the hospital to the car with my husband. I couldn't even talk, I had a hard time breathing. My husband kept asking me if I was ok, but I didn't want to talk to him or even hear his voice. I couldn't get the doctor's voice out of my head! The entire way home I was crying, I cried for a whole week straight! We had a geneticist appointment, blood work, family tree history discussion, etc. At the end the geneticist ends up telling us that the chances are low but higher than average. So, after a while, I came to terms with it. I decided that I was going to enjoy the rest of my pregnancy, and that if it was in God's will to bless me with a baby, then I was willing to take the bull by the horns, and that no matter what she was still going to be my baby! I'm happy to announce that my daughter is 7 months old and was born perfectly! She is healthy and super active! So doctors are human, not God, and they can make mistakes, but whether it's good or bad your outcome, you still need to take care of yourself! Good Luck!  

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Apr. 9, 2011 at 8:44 PM


I have been there, I hope it turns out well for your family.

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Apr. 9, 2011 at 11:28 PM

I know that was and is a scary situation for you even now.  You are doing the best thing by getting a second opinion.  I wish the best for you and will pray for you and your family as well. 

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Apr. 10, 2011 at 5:41 AM

That happened to my mom when I was pregnant with me. She went in, they didn't find a heartbeat. Next appointment, there it was. Lucky she didn't have that D&C, right?

So, hope on.   :)

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