I think my son is the most precious baby ever. Yeah I know, real unique. I was pretty upset when I realized that I was pregnant with him... again... after going to a specialist to find why no birthcontrol seems to work and finally to be able to go more than 2 years without have a baby was just... awesome. I was finally able to gain some strength back. After my first and second daughter were born, I was so fried after how sick they had made me that I just wanted to hold off on having another. I did not want to make any permanent decisions because what will happen if I want another one after? I have not been able to just as I would see it for me "get rid of" my pregnancy. Of course you then grow to love the baby, but it was a real blow to me at first.

One of the great things about Charlie is that he thinks his main purpose is to make his family- or at least his sisters and parents- happy. Like a lot of babies, he has figured out how to scrunch his face and that when he does his whole face for his sisters and dad, it makes the girls giggle.With me, he has started scrunching only his eyes and onlyfor a few seconds; it looks to me like he is trying to wink, and it just makes me laugn. He does this little trick only with me.

 I haven't been sleeping well since Thursday. I had maybe 4 hours total for the last 4 days. Well I finally was so exhausted that I broke down last night and started bawling for no reason which then made me mad, which made me cry more, which... well you get the point. When his dad got Charlie up for his last play-and-feed time, I tried to calm myself down enough so he wouldn't be upset, but Charlie looked at me and I guess my face did not look as well as I thought I did. He took few seconds to look at me with his serious face, did his goofy face at me and went back to his serious face. I gave him a smile, but that didn't seem to convince him that I was ok enough, so he smiled at me and held out his hands and said, "Mama". Then he started singing- at least that what I took it as and what I think he was trying to do- laid his head on my chest and rubbed my chest with his hand. I know that there are a lot of babies that brighten their parents' bad day, but this was just so sweet, loving, and touching to me. I just can hardly believe I am lucky enough to have such a wonderful baby, and I am so thankful for him.

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Apr. 12, 2011 at 8:09 PM



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