I'll be the first to admit it. I've never been happy with my body. My boobs are small, my frame is small, I was borderline anorexic in high school because I compared myself to the waif-like asian girls in my circle of friends, and even in menopause, I hate how my body is changing. My boobs are STILL small, but now they're asymmetrical. In addition, I've gained a few pounds and worse yet, my waist has thickened, and my once waif-like figure (before now I've never lost sight of my hip bones except while pregnant) is but a memory. I HATE IT. Yet...I am 5'5 and still weigh close to what I did in high school - 112-114 lbs. Yet I'd rather be under 110 with 6 pack abs (though I've never had them!) It's crazy, I know. But it's still how I feel.

I run, I swim, I try to tone with weights, but still, it doesn't feel like I'm doing enough. I feel guilty when I eat M&Ms. I LOVE them, but I feel like I've somehow committed a sin when I eat them ( probably because I can't stop at just a few. Once I cave I make a major dent in the bag!) I just returned from a vacation, and although I thoroughly enjoyed the trip and savored every bite of food I consumed, why can't I just "give myself" permission not to feel guilty? Why do I now have to say, "OK girl. You ate. Now you must "pay!" Diet, workout, workout MORE, eat LESS...."

Where does this come from - this obsession to have the perfect body? Is it the media - the photo shopped false perfect complexions and uber-toned bodies of celebs on magazine covers that make us feel like we don't measure up? Even though we KNOW it's not real, it's hard not to fall into that trap of comparing ourselves and aspiring to that benchmark that's been set. Where do we draw the line? Where do we take back control and make our own decisions, give ourselves permission to skip a workout now and then or eat dessert or a few more bites of something that's truly amazing? I have NO answers. In case you were hoping for some insight, I offer my sincerest apologies. I SO would have hit the gym tonight after looking in disgust at my  obvious muffin top, and missing a much needed trip to the gym to swim laps (childcare issues coupled with jet lag and a sick dog made for layers of "excuses." Let's leave it at that, shall we? If you want to beat me up and scoff at my excuses, feel free, although I assure you, you can't say anything to me that I haven't already condescendingly told myself. Thanks for letting me rant. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go jump on the scale so I can find yet another reason to engage in the ever-so-popular pastime of self-loathing.

Good night all....

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Apr. 13, 2011 at 11:18 AM

I really think society puts too much stress on us to have "perfect" bodies.Seems hard sometimes to accept yourself when everywhere you look in the media you see perfect breasts,hair,complexions,etc.Gives a bad message to young girls especially.

Doesn't seem to be that way for men though.I guess for them the stress is on having the perfect job,house,and car.We women have the burden on how we look.But that's only true if we allow it to be.I've reached the point where I'm happy with how I look.I know I'll never be "skinny",or "busty",or have "perfect" hair,or whatever.Just isn't going to happen,and I'm not going to be upset about it at all.Don't get me wrong...there is nothing wrong with proper diet ,exercise,and taking care of yourself.Being healthy is a great thing for everybody.There's just no need to stress out over someone else's idea of physical "perfection".Certainly no need for guilt and self-loathing.If you want to have a "goodie" now and then,go for it! Just try to control it best you can.But if you try to deny yourself these little "treats",it's going to be a lot harder on you and you'll feel guiltier and guiltier when you give in to them,and that's not a good thing to put yourself through.

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Apr. 27, 2011 at 2:30 PM

I really do think a lot of these feelings has to do with the media.  We are CONSTANTLY shown pictures of perfect people (that we know aren't really perfect and are airbrushed lol) but that constant driving ideal coming at us certainly doesn't help.

What you may find though is that no matter what our circumstances are, what has happened to us in the past, good or bad, what it all comes down to is us taking 100% responsiblity for our lives and making the commitment to ourselves that we are worth loving, worth taking care of, worth treating ourselves to a special treat if we want.  WE ARE WORTH IT!!!  

So for you it all starts with the daily actions you take to get to the point where you are ok with yourself and your body.  It will not be a quantum leap.  No leader in history or successful person made quantum leaps to their success.  It's all baby steps, the slight things we do every day that add up over time.  If you haven't ever read "The Slight Edge" by Jeff Olson I highly recommend it.

Another recommendation I have and I got this through my company's Success from Home audios they give us every month is a suggestion from the publisher of Success Magazine Darrin Hardy.  He suggested to take a journal and write down EVERY thought you have, positive or negative.  The purpose is to become AWARE of these thoughts.  Our thoughts are SO powerful and more often than not we don't see how destructive our own thought pattern is.  So when you write them down and can physically see it, you become aware of it, and you can fix it.

So this journey of yours will be a journey of personal growth, discovering in yourself why you are beautiful, your favorite qualities about yourself and most of all, helping others to do the same.  When you can help others, that is when your own qualities can come out and just Explode!

Chat me up anytime, I've had my own personal journey and my mission is to help others find theirs :)  I also have some ideas on how to get you those 6 pack abs...I'm working on mine :D.  Cheers!

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