There's a roll of toilet paper sitting on top of my microwave, been there for a bit over two months.  My daughter and I were chatting in the kitchen today when she asked me, "Why is there a roll of toilet paper on top of the microwave?" 

"Probably just got left there when I was hurting so bad over my Sweetheart.  I was carrying it around with me - you know - being prepared for those unexpected crying attacks."

"Geez Mom!  You're not supposed to carry around toilet paper!  You're supposed to carry around a carton of ICE CREAM!  Preferably your favorite Ben & Jerry's!"

She's 16 and she gets it.  If you're laughing you're a woman and you get it too.  If you're smiling and nodding out of recognition, then you're probably a MAN who lives with a woman.  You may not actually "get it", but you've seen it.  If you're not laughing, smiling or nodding, you've got to be a man on his own.

My daughter wasn't trained in this understanding.  She got it because she was born female and it wasn't trained out of her.  Women get women.  Men think we're complicated and mysterious - they don't get us.  Is it a brain thing?  You know, Mars vs. Venus?  Or a result of social imprinting? I believe it's both.  The news story I just read is a prime example of the social imprinting influence.

If you're not aware of this yet, Jenna Lyons, President and Creative Director of J. Crew is taking a crapload of flack today.  For what you ask?  For painting her young SONS toenails hot pink in an ad in the newest released J. Crew catalog.  Quote from article; "Yeah, well, it may be fun and games now, Jenna, but at least put some money aside for psychotherapy for the kid-and maybe a little for others who'll be affected by your 'innocent' pleasure," Dr. Keith Ablow wrote in a Fox News op-ed. "If you have no problem with the J. Crew ad, how about one in which a little boy models a sundress? What could possibly be the problem with that?"  End quote.  This mans attitude disturbs me deeply.  Really Dr. Ablow?  Perhaps if our boys weren't taught to be emotionally shackled when they were young they wouldn't need therapy!  How about putting money aside for those who are affected by men who were raised to be emotionally stymied?  I am deadly serious about this.  This is one of those things that irks me and gets under my skin like nothing else can.  Social/media imprinting is the major reason I took TV away from my kids 15 years ago!  I have a son.  He is a grown man and a father.  He was raised by a single mother (that's me) in a home with all females - even the dog.  When he was 14 years old, he told me the men in his life were perfect examples of the kind of man he WASN'T going to be - BooRaahhhh son!  When he was three years old he asked for a baby doll for Christmas.  The men in is life threw fits, literally and gave me all kinds of grief for it.  They claimed/feared I was making him soft, turning him into what they called a WUS.  I got him the baby doll, he cared for the baby doll - even got a rocking chair and bottles to go with it.  As a young child, he'd had his nails painted AND been in a dress.  The message to him was, "Kid - you are great and lovable just the way you are!"  None of the men in his life were capable of telling him that.  Guess how he turned out - he's a far better father, and "CARE" giver, than any of the men in his life have ever been or could ever hope to be.  My grown son, one time wearer of fingernail polish and dresses in his early childhood, is emotionally sound, very masculine, very comfortable with himself and without need of psychotherapy.  Soooo . . . . . hats off to you Jenna AND son, BooRaahh!  Don't give a second thought to Dr. Ablow.  The following is the link for the article if you care to read it yourself.

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Apr. 13, 2011 at 11:01 PM

I think there is NOTHING wrong with letting a little boy express himself however he wants. My son wears nail polish sometimes and plays sports, he doesnt let anything even a few mean kids change what he likes or doesnt.

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Apr. 15, 2011 at 4:57 AM You rock!!

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Jun. 22, 2011 at 8:12 PM

Very good! SO true!!

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