My day started awful and ended icky. I had to meet with my sons' kindergarten teacher this morning before school started. It wasn't how I really wanted to start my day. My son is failing kindergarten b/c he can not write. I know he has problems writing. That's been going on for almost 3 years now. He had full O/T last year and they helped him reach his age level. But with out O/T he slides back to a toddler level. We don't no why.

My son also isn't trying any more in class. He does his work but he just isn't really trying any more. My son told me in front of the teacher that no matter what he does, it isn't good enough. So why try. My son has basically given up. He sees the other students getting good words from the teachers but he only gets "try harder". Of course I would quit too if those were the only words I was getting.

The teacher told my son that she would have to take away his free time if he didn't try harder in class. My son said that's ok. No one likes me any ways. No one plays with me. Every one thinks I'm dumb and annoying. I just looked at my son and told the teacher, it doesn't work to threaten a child. Find the cause of the problem. Lords knows if my child called someone dumb, retarded, annoying or a brat, he would get into trouble in a heart beat. But for other students it is ok. Nice way to show a child where he fits in.

By the end of the meeting the teacher told me that my son will fail kindergarten if he can't write the 4 sentences that are required for kindergarten now. If he fails he can't be in a kindergarten class room b/c he's way too big to be around the 4 year olds that would be coming in for the new year. I just looked at her! My son is tall for his age but he's 5 lbs UNDER weight. I asked the teacher what she meant. She said he's so much taller then the average kindergarten and that would scare the new kindergartners next year. We don't want to scare children. WHAT?? So my jolly giant can't get an education b/c of the tiny munchkins that would be in the class?! I'm sorry but their isn't any thing I can do about his height! Maybe the other parents should be told that their tiny fairy children can't come to school b/c they may scare the tall children! That's discrimination!

I hate the school system we have to deal with. And I can't stand dumb people.


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Comments:

theba...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 12:01 AM Wow, where should I start. How much Ben and Jerry's did you want to eat. Between being upset and angry, it sounds like you really kept it together. I am impressed! Way to go. I would have craweled under the table.
It is so hard to be a mom, your poor son. I think if I were you I would put in writing that you want a formal special education evaluation. Learning shouldn't be so hard for him. They should be able to make an accommodation for his writing. I hate to ask but, do you think that writing is his only issue?
Since I am a teacher, I really see both side of this issue. I am not sure how I am going to make it through my son being in school. My son also had a hard time with writing and my Mother In Law looked at me and said do you want a child that can't write well and is as bright as he is or another child? I know we would not trade our children for anything and I know how much we want to make it all better for them.
Please keep us posted so we cab see how this turns out. Best of luck. Also remember tomorrow is another day.

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Muddy...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 1:08 AM

I wanted to reach across the table and pull her hair! But I didn't want to sit in the time out chair. That chair is way too small for my behind. lol I've actually come to realize that most people see my red hair and label me as emotional or mean. So I've learned how to control my feelings to show I'm not some mean monster with red hair. lol Plus showing that I want to work with the teacher and not beat her, gets me farther in life. Or so I thought it would. lol

My son has problems with reading, math and writing. But the teacher is only worried about him not writing. I guess the failing grades in math and reading don't count as things to worry about. I've had my son tested 4 times now by the school district, they always tell me that he needs help but he needs to be labeled before he can get an IEP. I had my son tested for every thing when he was 3. He is autistic, ADHD, and sensory issues. But the school district won't take those evals. I was told they are to old to count. So next week I'm getting my son retest privately again.Then I will set up testing for each and every year my son is in school.

Last year in pre k he had an IEP and did good. He was on grade level with reading, writing, and math. But when his IEP was taken away so was any hope of him staying on grade level. It's been a long hard fight. I'm not giving up. I will fight until my son gets his IEP back.

I do have great respect for teachers. It's not a job I want anymore. But I feel the school district has put the teachers in a hard spot with no support. My sons' teacher hasn't a clue how to handle him. But she is trying. I did have to explain sensory issues and how my son can be autistic and still be able to talk. I did laugh threw that conversation.

 

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theba...
Apr. 14, 2011 at 1:20 AM Well good for you for keeping it together. I am curious, if he did so well with the services, why they were taken away. Now he is failing, doesn't that show that he really needs the service.
Yes, I have heard in many districts that they do not take outside testing. But it seems like he would show on tests his issues with reading, math and writing. The accommodations should be in class from him and it should include another way to write so he doesn't fail on that.
Best of luck! Stay strong and keep at it.

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Alynn74
Apr. 14, 2011 at 11:34 AM

  Well first off-from what I understand-he might "fail" kindergarten but they won't be able to hold him back -they pass just about every kid along these days. As for him being too big to be in Kindergarten again next year-Bullsh*t!!! What is the school going to do if they tell you he has to repeat kindergarten-send him somewhere else?? What crap! Okay, from a mom of three kids on the spectrum-the teacher is failing your child. She has decided that she isn't going to help your child anymore. In order for your child to feel the way he does at his age-the teacher has made it clear to him that in her eyes, he isn't important or worth the effort. As for the school giving her no support-a good teacher, a caring teacher, a teacher concerned with her student learning-would have already put in for him to be tested/evaluated by the school  to find out what the problem is and would listen/work with you to help your child succeed-even if it's only in a small way. Any progress is good progress no matter how small.

   I understand that teachers and schools are facing budget cuts and closures and all kinds of problems of their own, but ya know what-it is there JOB to help your child receive a free and appropriate education-and that's free and appropriate for HIM not whatever the hell they want to give him. Find an advocate, talk to a lawyer, get your self informed and armed with all the information you need and get in there and let them know that you are not a Mom who is going to let this happen to your child-they will not pass him over or ignore him-or you. You are going to be the only one to advocate for your child-it is sad but true-so you need to not let up until he has what he needs. Good Luck.

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Muddy...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 1:04 AM

His therapy was taken away b/c his IEP was taken away. No IEP, No therapy. He does get O/T and speech therapy 1 time a week for 15 mins threw an AIS program. But that does nothing for my son. Oh he also has a reading, math and writing teacher 1 time a week for 25 mins threw the AIS program. But again, it's not enough. Once my son gets a label again, he gets an IEP. It's screwed up and their isn't any fighting that rule the school district has. I've tried for 7 months now.

Alynn74, I won't let him be passed on to 1st grade. Passing him on will do nothing for him but cause more melt downs. I feel that passing children along is wrong and insane to do. The school won't pass him on to first grade, they would put him in special ed next year. If he was a "normal" size child then he would get to stay in regular kindergarten. But they fear my jolly giant would eat the tiny fairies. Although my jolly giant hasn't hurt any one but the brat that wouldn't stop smacking my son in the back of the head. I saw that on the tapes I had pulled. I knew it wasn't my sons' doing to cause that fight. He's a hugger, not a fighter.

I know in my heart that my sons' teacher has given up on him, but I can't bring my self to really think about it. I can't make my self say that my son has been given up on. For some reason it's too painful & depressing.

My dear friend is an advocate and she is going to help me with all of this. I get lost with the fancy terms and big long winded speeches that I have to listen to at every meeting. my dear friend is going to the testing with my son & I and to every school meeting we have. Every step we take, my friend is going to take with us. She knows the laws & rules & how to handle every thing. She's a bear to deal with.

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theba...
Apr. 15, 2011 at 11:21 AM It sounds like you have a great helper. I am sorry you have to do this. Good luck !

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