It hurts me to my core to log in as "bearsjen". I am no longer his and yet I am not myself yet either.
To any abused woman, that makes sense.
I wonder daily at which point I will stop both loving and hating Bill. Does he deserve my love? lol hell no, but there it is.
The hope and prayer of all persecuted and abused women, that the abuser will do an "about face" and stop being sick, stop being...abusive. So far in my story, there has been nothing but cruelty.
I miss cm, I miss my friends, who are my family at this site. To all of you, even if I am not in touch,
I am still here, alive, a survivor of this mess.
and I thank God each day for you all.
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