The Butterfly Diary

My journey from cocoon to butterfly.

I just got news from my daughter that has left me sad,angry,confused and in tears. A freshman at her High School jumped to her death after a track meet at a rival school. She was 14 years old. I have buried 3 children of friends in the last two years and I just don't understand any of it. What could cause someone so young to be that sad to feel life was no longer an option? Her parents knew that she had problems but had gotten her help. I am raising a teenager and with texts, im, skype and email their world becomes bigger and kids become meaner. I see the bullying on here, what happens to someone who is young and can't handle people being cruel. 

I buried a friend of mine's 15 year old daughter two years ago. She mixed two drugs and it shut down her central nervous system and she died. She was scheduled for rehab that following Tuesday and snuck out. The person who gave her the drugs dumped her dead body on the lawn and left her. He was sentenced to 12 years on a plea bargain,. Her father and siblings were sentenced to life. They will never see her face, hear her laugh and see her with her beloved lab Jackie that I gave them when their mom passed away from cancer.

The 3rd girl had headaches and went to the ER. They found a brain tumor and she died two weeks later. No symptoms until the headache two weeks before her death. This is the only loss I can somewhat understand and yet it hurts to see her mom at the store because what do you say. Sorry just doesn't seem like it's enough. 

So I will take my daughter again to another funeral of a friend. I have no words of wisdom for her because I can't understand it myself. Children are not suppose to die before their parents. They should of learned to drive, attend prom, graduate high school and maybe college. They should of picked out a wedding dress and had the joy of their own child. Yet, I will watch them be buried. I am sad and angry and confused and hurt that so many young lives are lost to accidents, drugs and suicide and there seems to be no reason why or how to stop this insanity. Parents, watch your children, listen to them and hug them everyday because life can turn so quickly and they could be gone.

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Apr. 14, 2011 at 3:49 PM

Wo w, I can't even explain what kind of thoughts are running through my mind after reading this.  I have a 12 year old daughter and I pray that she never has to experience anything like this. I am so sorry for your daughter's loss, and the loss of the families.  <y heart really goes out to you all.  I am sending my prayers and hugs!hugs

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Apr. 14, 2011 at 3:54 PM

This was very well said. It touched my heart. Teens nowadays face far more pressures than I did 20 years ago. I often wonder, "How much worse can this world get for kids?"

Parents do need to watch, listen and keep up with our new times and what the children/teens are facing. It is a whole new ball game and they need our encouragement and influence. Peer pressure is such a strong pull when you are young.

Families need to stay strong, being the loving center of joy and acceptance for our children. We need to instill self confidence, guidance and unconditional love into our kids so they can have the best life possible when faced with trials.

God bless you for posting this.

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Apr. 14, 2011 at 8:05 PM

My neice's friend killed himself Tuesday night....I think of them all and pray....

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Apr. 14, 2011 at 8:55 PM

I'm sorry.  Please be there for your daughter, and get her help if she needs it..... May not show up for a while..... Sending hugs to you, your daughter, and her friends family.

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Apr. 14, 2011 at 9:36 PM

The bully has gotten worst I am sorry for your lost

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Apr. 14, 2011 at 10:40 PM

Wow!  Never even crossed my mind why life has changed for teenagers.  I hear so many comments about how it is so much harder for teens today.  They have a lot more pressure.  Well, until you mentioned texts, internet, technology in general, it never crossed my mind that kids can be cruel and everyone sees it. 

Parents are different today to.  My husband is an assistant principal and parents are more likely to just want to defend their children without understanding the situation.  When we were kids if we would have been making someones lives miserable, then our parents would have talked and we would have apologized and moved on.  Not today.  Parents go at it, just as much as the kids!

I am so sorry that you and your daughter have to go through this.  I have two daughters and another daughter on the way.  I pray that life for them is drama free, but the reality is when it is not, I will be there for them.  If for some reason they choose to make someone's life unbearable, then they will have unbearable consequences.

Life is so hard as a teenager. They have raging hormones, in between emotions about still being a kid, but wanting to be an adult and then throw is the boyfriend/girlfriend and life is difficult.  Although, we look at is so unimportant, it is hard. 

All we can do is be a crying shoulder and a happy place for our children.

Sure wish my mom would have told me how hard it is to be a mom!hugs

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Apr. 15, 2011 at 1:12 PM

That is just so sad. We have to keep all communications open!! The world needs to start being a better place!

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Apr. 15, 2011 at 2:22 PM

so scary.  I have a 13 year old dd. i told her nothing is worse taking her own life. i had a cousin take hers over 15 years ago. I still say why?

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Apr. 15, 2011 at 2:40 PM

((Hugs)). I have a 15 yo daughter and this journal made me cry... How can we help them?? What brings teens to want to end their life before it's really begun?  So sad.

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Apr. 15, 2011 at 5:32 PM

Wow. As I type this I am crying like a little baby. I don't understand it myself. All i thought about when you mentioned the one girl who passed from "natural" causes was my friend who passed 4 years ago. He was in a car accident and passed away at 23 and his GF passed too who was 19. I think of his mother all the time. The first Christmas I spent with my DD was the first one she spent without her son. Who was an amazing human being. There is no reason for this to be happening other than kids are not taught to love one another. My DD is being taught to love every person like she would want to be loved. And to accept everyone regardless of who they are. Maybe one day all children will be taught the same. Oh and sorry about all those losses. That is tragic.

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