Between 84% and 92% of sexual assaults are perpetrated by an acquantince, take place in the home of the victim or perpetrator, is preceded by consenual kissing, and involves no weapon (Rusinko, Bradley, & Miller, 2010). This is an overwhelming majority. Now also take into account that 1 in 6 women as well as 1 in 33 men experience attempted or completed rape in their lifetime (RAINN). This means that majority of the people sexually assaulted are done so in a comfortable setting by someone they trust. This is a horrible thing to have so many securities ripped from you in an instant. Then if the person assault reports the assault, then the chance of justice is slim to none. Out of every 100 rape cases there are only 33 are referred to prosecutors, 16 are charged with only 7 spending time in prison (Campbell, 2008). This means on top of having to no longer trust friends and having to no longer be comfortable anywhere these people also have to deal with the justice system betraying them.

I am one of those people. I fit almost every statistic given actually. I was raped 6 years ago by a guy I went to high school with. I thought we were friends. We had hung out numerous times before. I had hung out with him at his parents' house before with no problem. I will also admit to consenually kissing him at first. However, I realized it was a mistake and tried to stop it right then and there before it got worse. That did not work though. He proceeded to push my hand down his pants while allowing his to roam my body as he saw fit. Eventually he stripped me and made me sit on him. No matter how hard I tried to get away I couldn't. However, there was a gun involved as well...well actually 3. He had 3 loaded shotguns in his room within reach. I reported it to the police. I was told there was nothing they could do for me unless I got him to confess to me. So they wanted me to do the police work.

So why am I talking about this 6 years later? I always talk about it. However, April is sexual assault awareness month. So I step up my efforts to bring awareness to this is a crime that is still in the dark. Society loves to try and blame the victim. Proper services are hardly available. The legal, medical, and mental health professionals usually do more harm than good when the crime is reported. Society does not take this crime seriously. If it did, then more than 7 of every 100 rapists would spend time behind bars.

I will also admit that talking about it helps me. Being a human services student who sees a social worker as my therapist it is due to exposure therapy. The more you talk about it the less power it has over you. But I am not cured or healed. I have to go to therapy to work on my issues. I also take antidepressants in order to just function anymore. But I am making it. He will not win. He will not rule my life. I control my life. It is mine.

If you are a victim or survivor who needs help, RAINN is here to help. Their toll free hotline number is 1-800-656-HOPE(4673). They also have an online website... And finally if you are in the military, here is the website specifically for you,


Campbell, R. (2008). The psychological impact of rape victims. American Psychologist, 63(8), 702-717. doi: 10.1037/0003-066X.63.8.702

Rusinko, H. M., Bradley, A. R., & Miller, J. (2010). Assertiveness and attributions of blame toward victims of sexual assault. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 19(4), 357-371. doi:10.1080/10926771003788961. 

Who are the Victims? | RAINN | Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network. (n.d.). RAINN | Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network | RAINN: The nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization.One of "America's 100 Best Charities" -Worth magazine. Retrieved April 15, 2011, from

Add A Comment


Be the first to add a comment below.
Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in