I'm hearing some rumors that are freaking me out and I would LOVE to send bio-mom a letter and see if they are true.. and that probably wouldnt help anything, so instead, ill write it out on here, in private...-ish. lol

Dear __________,

PLEASE dont move to Cali (all the way across the country because that is where her fiance and father of her newborn is from and family lives..) PLEASE consider your two first borns and how difficult it would be on them and how much more difficult you would make it on your own family and yourself, as well. Consider all the possiblities.. you could move and take the kids with you, FAR away from everything and everyone they have EVER known and giving them a challenging environment to be in considering they are both home-bodies and very shy..  Flying them back home to see their half-brother (my and their father's baby due in Sept), friends, family, and father would be a challenge in itself because they are too young to travel alone... not only will it be an inconvience on yourself, the children, and the father to have them travel across the states for holidays, but it would be VERY costly..  And even if you did decide to take the children with you, think about the fact that you are breaking the agreement between you and your ex AGAIN and the hassle you will have to go through in court... once again, theres more expenses and stresses you, your family, and your ex do not need. Your ex is the primary, what if the court sees how you just moved out of state a year ago, taking the kids out of their comfort zone and breaking the agreement once already, and the other parts of the agreement you have broken in the past as well (having men sleep over in the house you and your ex shared while your ex had moved out and you had the children under the same roof and he was paying the mortage and you two were not even divorced yet and leaving the house a wreck when your ex moved back in and you moved out) and decide against you taking the kids to Cali? What then? PLEASE dont tear these children's family apart.. it would BREAK their hearts to have to live so far away from their mother whom they love so dearly and their baby half-brother whom they also just ADORE.

Do you really want to put your fiance and his family first? Before your two first borns? I understand you are in a tough position because you have a baby with this man and i completely feel for your fiance and the fact that his baby will not be able to fully know his family and orgin.. yes that is sad, however these are things that you probably shouldve considered before you started anything with this man YEARS ago..

So, say you DO move to Cali and the court orders the children to stay in Jersey, not only would that be hard on the children, but wouldnt it be hard on you? and their half-brother? how often would you come visit? how often would the children be able to visit you? and yes, they could probably spend their summers in Cali, that would be a nice vacation for them, but would they enjoy the adjustment once again? and what about sports and other activities? how would they be able to stay active and involved in their hometown if they have to be across country for a few months? what about your daughter's birthday in Aug? would you make her spend it away from all her family and friends in Cali? 

As i mentioned before PLEASE dont tear these children's family apart.. Your ex and I were just shooting around ideas and dreams about moving somewhere cheaper and your son said "no, I'm not going anywhere, I like it here. You can go, but I'm staying here forever." I sure hope that he gets to.. this place is the best for your children; the education, their friends, they are very close with their cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents (who all live here), they love their schools and sports teams and activities. Don't you think they have already went through enough changes for kids their age?

So PLEASE, I'm begging you.. I know we have never seen eye-to-eye, and honestly, it would be nice to have the distance between us, I'm sure that would force some peace into our relationship that would be welcomed with open arms.. but I do NOT want you to move across the country.. I do NOT want you to hurt these kids.. This big move has more pros than cons.. PLEASE consider them all. Thank you.

Add A Comment

Comments:

Be the first to add a comment below.
Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in