Apparently all you have to do to avoid getting a ticket from a police officer is to tell him you're very, very  sorry, look very, very sad, tell him you'd rather not have a ticket over this and promise never to do it again.  Did this work for me?  Uh . . . NO!  But it worked BEAUTIFULLY for the, "Lemur" that lives upstairs!! 

I've been having problems with this guy for several months.  He is nocturnal.  I am NOT.  He likes to sit in the stairwell on the other side of my bedroom wall from 12:30 till 2, 3, 4, even as late as 5 in the morning and talk/party with his Buds.  These apartment walls are thin.  The stairwell is mostly enclosed so EVERY LITTLE SOUND ECHOS AND IS AMPLIFIED!  At first I thought I'd handle it nicely - one intelligent adult to another.  I went out, "Excuse me, I'm sure you don't know this but my bedroom is on the other side of this wall.  These walls are really thin.  This stairwell is enclosed.  Every little sound is amplified, everything  echos.  It's two in the morning, you're keeping me awake.  Would you please take your conversation somewhere else?"        "Oh, sure, sorry, we'll go somewhere else."  I thanked them and went back to bed.  An hour passed, they were still out there.  Another 45 minutes - they were STILL out there.  I went back.  I looked at them, smiled nicely, "You're still keeping me awake."           "Yeah but we're being quieter."  Again, "This is still a small space, I can still hear you."  Then I told them what they'd been talking about.  Hmmm . . . , he thought about that for a second, "Wow.  Ok, sorry, we'll leave now."  I thanked them and went back inside.  They did move, to the other outside wall of my bedroom - grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!! 

This same exact situation has played out no fewer than 20 times, two to four times a week.  Always I went out and nicely reminded them where they were, what time it was and that they were keeping me awake.  Every time he was so sorry and promised to move.  The fourth time I called the police.  Noise violations are not a priority in this area.  The police didn't show up for THREE HOURS!  Here's the other kicker with calling the police.  Until a unit has actually arrived at this property, the dispatcher will call every half hour to make sure the problem is still a problem!  So, it's either idiot Lemur's keeping me awake, or police just trying to do their job, keeping me awake.  The longer I'm kept awake the more pissed off I get!  Once I get angry ALL hope of sleep is lost!  I complained to our landlord so many times, she'd roll her eyes when she saw me coming.  "So sorry Tara, I can't do anything unless I know the guys name."  I blinked.  "Are you saying the next time I go out, you want me to ask him his name?      Really?  What good will that do?"             "Well, then I'll know which unit he's in."  I was dumbfounded, absolutely dumbfounded.  I stared at her, "He's in the unit right above mine," I said flatly. "Well, I don't know what I can do, since it's after hours, this is a police issue.  Call the police."         "I did call the police.  It took over three hours for them to get here.  Noise violations are not a priority.  By the time the police got here the Lemur had gone inside - at 4 a.m!  The officer said to bring this to my landlords attention.  That's you."     "Well, let's just see how it goes.  You've already talked to him so I'm sure he'll stop." 

It didn't stop.  I called the police another time - same scenario.  This brings us last week through last night.  Thursday night they were out there AGAIN.  After two hours of hoping they'd go away on their own, I had no more niceness left.  I let him have it. I grabbed my blanket, stormed around the corner - and there he was - on the stairs as usual, friend leaning against my wall, and I yelled,  "Really? Seriously? YOU'RE OUT HERE AGAIN? GET OUT OF THIS Fβ€˜ ING STAIRWELL!  IF YOU'RE NOT OUT OF HERE AND AWAY FROM MY BEDROOM IN 3 MINUTES  I'M CALLING THE COPS!!!!"  "Whoa! Gees, lady, no need to get riled, we'll go."  That was last Thursday night.  Friday morning I talked to the land lord.  She says, "I'm sorry, what do you want me to do?"  "I want you to make him stop!  MY lease states there are rules about noise after hours - even rules about hanging out in common areas after hours. I'm sure his lease says the same thing!  I WANT YOU, TO PUT A NOTE ON THIS GUYS DOOR, AND REMIND HIM OF HIS LEASE AGREEMENT!" "Well, I can't very well single him out."  "Then for god's sake if it will make you feel better give one to EVERYBODY!  But for hells sake, do SOMETHING!"  "Ok, I'll write something up and post it."  "Thank you." 

Saturday and Sunday - no problem.  Monday afternoon I'm walking my dog when "he/Lemur" and I run into each other.  "Hey, I just want to let you know I'm really sorry about all this.  We were being kind of rude.  It won't happen again - no more stairwell."  "Thank you, I really appreciate that," I smiled sincerely and continued on my way, whew, that was nice, what a relief.  1:30 a.m. - KABOOMITTY BOOM BOOM BOOM!!  Loud, loud music, rolled me right out of bed!  No, they weren't in the stairwell, they were in the room DIRECTLY ABOVE MINE! Then they were running across the floor to the balcony yelling at whoever was outside bringing up the beer, "Dude, don't forget one for me!"  DUDE ran upstairs, but wait, DUDE forgot something.  DUDE had to run back down the stairs then back up the stairs.  And the party wAs ON!  This time, there were several girls with them.  OMG!  I tried to sleep on the couch - couldn't, their balcony is directly above mine right over the living room.  4 a.m. I took a sleeping pill and laid down on the floor in my daughters bedroom.  Could still hear them.  Checked the clock, 4:30 a.m. - the party was still going. 

First thing Tues.  morning, I staggered to the office - no landlord.  No landlord all day.  Tuesday night - same damn thing.  Next day landlord off the grounds all day at other complex. Wednesday night same damn party going on, only this time the party was still going strong at 5:30 a.m - I watched the sun come up!  Next day - still no landlord.  Thursday night - this time, the party started at 10:15 instead of 1 a.m.  I called the after hours emergency number for the complex.  I wanted the β€˜on site' guy to see and hear for themselves before I called the police.  The "after hours" lady said noise violations were NOT an emergency and therefore against protocol.  "I won't do anything.  I'm NOT coming over there."  I called the police.  I told the dispatcher this was my third call about this resident, nothing was being done and I wanted to file a formal complaint.  "Of course," said the dispatcher, "I'll let the officer know."   It was 10:41 p.m.  at 11:15 - Hugo (not his real name), our maintenance guy came over, he said he got a call from the β€˜on-sight' person that some irate lady from apt #??? had called him bitching about noise, can you believe it, she actually wanted me to go over there!   Hugo didn't think it was funny.  So HE came to have a look.  "OMG!  This is ridiculous!," observes Hugo,  "this is going to stop!"  Just then, one of the party DUDES came lurching down the stairs and across the street to his truck.  "Lemur" followed seconds later.  He looked right at Hugo and me, did a little wave thing, walked over to a tree by the sidewalk, pulled his "plumbing" out and started to urinate.  "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!!!??  PUT THAT THING BACK IN YOUR PANTS!!  YOU CAN'T DO THAT HERE!!  WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU??!!, yelled Hugo.  Well, Lemur choked off mid-stream and joined his buddy in the truck. "That's it, I'm calling the police," Hugo said to me.  I told him I already had and that it would take at least three hours for them to get here.  "Well', I'm calling too."  Hugo went back to his apartment, I went back into mine.  The party continues full speed, full blast.  At 2:58 a.m., according to the clock on my computer, there was a knock at my door.  It was the officer I'd been waiting for.  I also noticed he didn't have any paperwork for me to sign.  He asked if I was the one who made the call, I confirmed.  Then he said, "Well, I just talked to your neighbor.  He's sending everyone home and he's really, really sorry.  He looked like he felt really bad.  He said he'd really rather not have a ticket over this and promised not to do it again."             "And?"                "Well, I didn't give him a ticket!  He said he was sorry and it wouldn't happen again."  Trust me, ALL KINDS of things were running through my head, I could be arrested for any number of them so I said, "Oh, really?  Gee, that's what he said to me Monday.  And last week.  And the week before that and the week before that!  I've heard that from this guy no fewer than a dozen times!"           "You mean you've had trouble with him before?"            "Yes - MONTHS of it!  This is the third time I've called the police about this."           "Have you talked to your landlord?"                "She says it's not a landlord issue, it's a police issue."                " Well, really it's NOT a police issue, it IS a landlord issue."              OMG!  For Hells' freaking sake!  Give me a BAZOOKA and I'LL TAKE CARE OF THE PROBLEM MYSEL!!  Police officer says, "There's nothing else I can do tonight, maybe I should've talked to you first."    Oh, you THINK!?    "So I won't be filing a complaint?"          "You have to tell the dispatcher that's what you want to do when you call."  I was beginning to feel RABID, oh sooooo RABID.  "I did tell the dispatcher that when I called, she said she'd tell you."  "Oh, well, I never got that message."  OMG!  OMG!  OMG! WTF? WTF? WTH?  *&^!^&#!&%@*!*#*!&!!&   And that's where we stand.

The last time I got pulled over, I didn't want the ticket either.  Sometimes, I've been able to smile sweetly out of a ticket.  The last time my sweet smile womanly whiles didn't work.  That was a sad, SAD day for me - and an EXPENSIVE ONE!  If I ever get pulled over again I think I'll work the "Lemur" approach.  It certainly worked on one officer.  You just never know when it will work again.

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Apr. 17, 2011 at 8:28 AM

im so sorry mama!!  you could stick with the confront and b*tch move.  that seems to could also call the police EVERY DAMN NIGHT until they do something.  you could also tell your landlord to do something or shell end up with a summons for breech of contract.  either way i hope it works out for you.  my landlord wont handle anything he considers a tenant on tenant dispute.  so although my lease says i have 2 parking spots and the guys below me says one,  i have one car he has 2.  when i have someone over to visit they park in the lot it what is supposed to be my second spot.  he has threatened to have them towed which he cant do btw.  but even more obnoxious he has pulled up right behind them so they cant get out and have to knock on his door to ask him to move.  the last time this happened i convinced my friend to stay to the wee hours of the morning then i beat on his door til he woke up, then we proceeded to have an hour long shouting match which ended in him moving his car but not before he threatened to smack me.  btw i was 8 months pregnant.  i bellied right up to him and dared him telling him he would be in jail faster than he could blink.  that was when he got his keys and moved his car.  it also could have been the sound of dh storming down the stairs ater he heard him threaten me lol.  anyway good luck!

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Jun. 22, 2011 at 8:19 PM

Wow...I'm sorry. Bad neighbors stink! I sure hope this isn't still going on!

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