This has  been a trying week.  My son, Michael 10y old, who has a dx of Bipolar, ADHD since the 2nd grade, and recently gotten a tentative dx of PDD NOS as well... has been a blessing in so many ways, and a challenge in many more.  But do others feel as isolated as i do ?  I have friends who have children close in age to mine and I am fortunate to have an 11y old and 8y old with  no dx. It's not like I don't relate to there "normal" kids.  This week a group of us moms were talking about our 10, 11, & 12y olds and how they are changing in the attitudes they have now. How all kids change as they grow up, but I felt so alone because I couldn't share that I have not only the normal adolescent challenges but those of 10y old who can't control his moods and is irritable times 10 compared to the average adolescent.  I wanted so bad to say "oh sorry we couldn't attend your daughters birthday party last Saturday  because I was wrestling a knife away from my son who was overly exhausted and having a meltdown." ...The thing is, it's not sympathy I want or the praise for dealing with a challenging child, I just don't want everyone to clam up when I do say "last weekend wasn't a good weekend for Michael, he had a meltdown, but I hope she enjoyed the present anyway."  or for them to not say "my kid would have gotten their  hide tanned" like it's just a discipline issue... Infact this was the topic of Michael's appt with his psychiatrist this week.  Yes, I know i should try to find a support group for moms like me ( and I'm praying you are it!) but no one has helped me to figure out how I can drive 20 miles to attend one while working 8hrs a day, and still being there for the other 2 kids who deserve some normalcy. Oh, not to say my husband doesn't try to help but that's a whole other issue (a recovering alcoholic, not good at dealing with chaos, and possibly in some denial as to Michael's issues.)   Oh I acknowledge that my family could use some seriouse counceling to cope with our multitude of issues but lets face it, special needs kids don't come to only families that can afford them.  Ofcourse I was reassured that I am not a terrible parent for not being able to afford counceling, (we do not qualify for state insurance as my husband and I make too much so its Private Ins.) .... and the purpose to my venting,,,, I may not have one but it sure feels good to get it out. I guess  I just want to know that there is a mom out there somewhere who also feels like I do. I question my parenting. During really good periods, I even question his diagnosis only to have a daily reminder of what he has as I have to give him his meds.  I have fears about medicating my child. I worry about how he will evolve as he grows older. I wonder how i will cope with him hitting, kicking me as he gets stronger and older. I already come away with bruises. How long will I be able to keep him out of a hospital or residential treatment because when it's bad, that's the first thing my husband wants.  Am I wrong for wanting that as a last resort?....Well, if anyone out there in cyberspace has any answers, I'm all ears.

 

 

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Lb128f
Apr. 17, 2011 at 1:52 AM

I'm sorry...I hope you can find support here. Here are some groups you might be interested in looking into!

http://www.cafemom.com/group/1408/ Adhd/Bipolar and Children with Aspergers Syndrome

http://www.cafemom.com/group/7863/  Autism, Aspergers, Bipolar, PDD, ODD, OCD, ADHD, Panic Disorder, Semantic Pragmatic Disorder, Bird Flu

http://www.cafemom.com/group/32/ Parenting special needs kids AND...

We are parenting special needs children. Come and chat with parents who know the everyday trials and tribulations of raising a special needs child. Our group is strong and growing. We have parents that are raising children with many different disabilities. Such as autism, adhd, bipolar disorder, cyclothymia, blindness, deafness, cerebral palsy, vcfs,speech impairments, chronically ill children, premature children as well as educational disabilities.

I think I read that you don't have insurance? If so, you could check into Mental Health Counseling (through your local Health Department) or try a Church or Catholic Charities (you do not have to be Catholic) for counseling.

Also...if your son has been DX with the above conditions you list...he would probably be eligible for Social Security Disability (which would include Medicaid). That would cover all Doc app'ts., meds and counseling...and Dental care.

Here are some additional SUPPORT GROUPS from online...some are for parents, some for children.

http://www.aacap.org/cs/BipolarDisorder.ResourceCenter

http://www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=support_findsupportlanding

http://www.bpkids.org/connect/support-groups

http://psychcentral.com/resources/Bipolar/Support_Groups/

Good Luck!

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Shamr...
Apr. 17, 2011 at 9:18 AM HUGS! If it makes you feel better, residentials aren't the way they used to be, same goes or the units in the hospitals. Again it all depends on the state you live in and THEIR funding so I an only tell you about my state(nj)..gone are they days where kids could go until they were 18,max is now 2 years and even that is hard. Res is a LONG process..crisis/psych units in hospitals are 6 days max unless being transferred elsewhere. Speaking of them always have info on support groups for parents and yes I kno what you mean about finding the time to to those meetings. And I want to thank the pp for those links because its hard and downright SUCKS when you're surrounded by people who don't understand and plain don't get it that no there is no ONEMAGIC pill to make things better and no mom(MYmom!) for the 5th time adhd meds are not going to "fix" this.
You aren't alone, I may not live anywhere near you but I know what you go thru. This is who our children are, this is not a phase :(
Does your son go to a regular public school? My 13 yr old daughter was just transferred to a "special" school which is filled with nothing but students similar to her(some are much worse) and she loves it. I hope to GOd we are able to stay in the district area that classified her and set this up b/c the school goes up to age 21 and teaches them actual skills(much like a trade shool) which eases some of the worry for her future.
If you want pm me for anything..questions, venting anything. I don't have all the answers but I can listen :)

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