I wrote this when I was pregnant with my first son 3 years ago, and I thought I would resurrect it. I wrote it about the same time in my pregnancy so it was funny to look back on it, and not much has changed.

I was reflecting the other day on my thoughts of being pregnant before I actually found out I was pregnant. I always thought "when I get pregnant, I will never..." or "when I get pregnant, I will definitely..." So I wanted to share some of these and how they have changed now that I have 2.5 months left. Thought you might have something similar.

Before I was pregnant, I vowed:
1. That I would never be one of those pregnant ladies who waddled.
NOW, I don't even care that I waddle. Who else will lead the march of the penguins?

2. That I would never be one of those pregnant ladies who complained about being pregnant.
NOW, I understand what they meant when they said "I'm so ready for this to be over."

3. That I would never have half the symptoms pregnant ladies "claimed" they have (i.e. moodiness, itchiness, etc.).
NOW, I think I have had every symptom known to man and maybe even created some new ones.

4. That I would eat healthy.
NOW, chocolate ice cream counts as a calcium right?

5. That I would exercise and be physically fit during pregnancy.
NOW, does walking to the bathroom 15 times a day count as exercise? And I "physically fit" on my sofa...that counts too right?

6. That I would NEVER drink caffeine...how dare women do that!
NOW, a cup of coffee every morning. How else am I supposed to fight the fatigue?

7. That I would read every pregnancy book I could find.
NOW, I bought every pregnancy book, got about 1/3 of the way through, and now I just read Cafemom.

8. That I would only gain about 20 lbs...other women were just not careful.
NOW, 24 lbs and 2 months to go, what's another 10-15 lbs...bring on the donut!!!

9. That I would NEVER rub my belly or sit with my hands crossed over my belly (the "I'm pregnant, look at my belly" sitting and rubbing).
NOW, where else am I supposed to put my hands? Besides, sometimes I need to poke baby's foot back in or cover it up so people won't see this alien trying to escape from my body.

10. That hubby and I would swoon over my belly while he read stories and played music to my stomach. Awww, the bonding again.
NOW, he read one story, played music once, and I'm lucky if he sits next to me on the couch! I think he's over the novelty of it too. There's only so many times you can feel the baby kick before he wonders if there are any new tricks.

11. That I would love and cherish maternity clothes because they are so comfortable and cute.
NOW, I hate maternity pants and I keep outgrowing my shirts. I think a man designed maternity jeans, but then again, maybe not...most men I know are shaped like a pregnant lady.

12. That my belly button wouldn't pop because my pre-pregnancy belly button was so deep you could go spelunking in there. I could never even SEE the botton of my belly button.
NOW, it's stretched so much that the upper lip has started to protrude and I'm sure it will be out by the time the baby comes. And who knew I had a mole in my belly button?

13. That I would enjoy every kick and movement the baby made. After all, what a bonding experience!!!
NOW, are you freaking swimming laps in there, doing karate? Do you ever sleep? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, chill out in there!!! I'm not a punching bag!

14. That I would never have swelling in my feet or hands. Cankles were for women who just ate too much.
NOW, my shoes barely fit, my socks leave indents in my ankles, and my calves look like my thighs. Are those sausages or my toes?

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Comments:

goatmom4
Apr. 17, 2011 at 10:55 AM

heheheh   try haveing preterm labor     then have active baby    she kicked me so hard I leaned against the wall then fell over and slept there becuz I didn't want ot wake the unborn baby   it hurt worse then labor             

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Mom2A...
Apr. 17, 2011 at 11:36 AM

Cute!

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Ayden...
Apr. 17, 2011 at 4:04 PM

love it!  If you try to pre-determine how your pregnancy will go..well, you just can't. every pregnancy is different, you have no idea how you will handle or go about things until your going through it yourself. This is so funny and so very true, lol!

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Shamr...
Apr. 17, 2011 at 8:59 PM Laughing My Pregnant Butt Off!! I had to read the penguin line to hubby and even he chuckled

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