I been feeling lazy and sloppy they past few days. I don't have enough stimulation going on. Not like I am not trying to create it i just don;t know what i am doing or done to have this happen.

I'm starting to feel like such a loser like my mother. I tried so hard not to be herand not I am turing into her Ahhhh!!! I feel like I am stuck cause I'm poor right now so i can't really afford to go out and do anything. There are free fun things but you know. I don't have the chance to go out and go to a club or party with people because I do not have a babysitter. I would have one if I had oney but don't have any cause again I don't have any money. All my efforts and energy has to go into getting rent paid. That is all I basically do and think about. I hate it. I hate that is what I do - try to get the rent paid. Nothing else.

I do fun things with/for my son (walks, painting, field trips). I want a active social life. All that shit is gone. I went to mom's group meeting and one lady said for her it was hard eeting friends because she is married and involved with her family stuff she rarely goes outside of it. So that explained a bit why it is hard to meet people.

To be honest I don't really try to go out and meet people cause what can i do really? I have no money to do anything and I have no sitter so I have to take my kid all the time. Kinda depressing. I am a very fun and lively person just being in this rut sucks. I live in a big city but it's not like fun here. I want to move to a move vibrant place so I could have more options on what to do.

I know there are other people out there like me but I don't know....at least they had a close friend that could watch their kid so they could get some time alone. Never in im wildest dreams did I think me being a mom would be so boring.

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Apr. 17, 2011 at 12:36 PM Sorry to hear. Ok so money is an issue. That leaves free options that are kid friendly. Mom and me types of things. Alone time...maybe put your son on a schedule when he is napping or in bed for the night you can carve out some time for yourself. It's not easy but the only way out of your rut is time and hard work, maybe some creativity. Do you have any hobbies, skills or talents which you can do as a side gig to earn a few dollars? No friends with children? They present different types of options. Best of luck finding something for you, just don't quit trying!!

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Apr. 18, 2011 at 1:20 AM

I'm sorry. I hope things change soon for you.

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