The Days are getting longer and they are going slower and slower, I remember being at this point in the Pregnancy with Blaze and it was no where near as bad. I'm sure i could have it much worse, but then again every one handles things differently and maybe I'm being weak or i dont know what you would call it but all i know is i feel like my body is shutting down. I haven't slept more then a few hours every night for the last two weeks before the BH are getting stronger and stronger, Plus I'm getting this weird Pain when i try to roll over or stand up, feel like my muscle right under my belly is being ripped apart. My hip is killing me i can barely walk, and my right knee gave out a couple days ago and its so sore. I do all i can to keep my mind  off of it. Baking Cakes, Watching TV, Playing and Reading with Blaze, but every time the baby moves it hurts so bad i just cant ignore it. Every day I'm more and more happy with the decision to have my tubes tied! I love my son and i know i will love this baby just as much, but i can not take pregnancy, some women love it, but I am NOT one of them. Not only physically does it mess me up, but my stress, anxiety and paranoia sky rocket, i feel like i don't even know who i am. I know some women get the postpartum and i was fearful that i mite get it this time, but as i get closer to not being pregnant i can feel that i will be happier then ever to know that i will no longer have to worry about what I'm doing, eating, if i wake up on my back i wont worry how long have i been laying this way? is the baby ok? i wont freak out every time i smell smoke from a cigarette and wonder did that just kill my baby, and yes i do think that. I worry about EVERY LITTLE THING! i hate it because i know its dumb! Even with the UTI's i didnt want to take the meds they gave me cause i was scared they would hurt the baby, i did take them cause they told me i had too. But when i had the kidney stones and they told me i could take Tylenol to help the pain, i refussed and just suffered thought it,cause i didn't know what it would do to the baby, i read things on the net for hours about do's and dont's and that only makes things worse. Im sure im not the only one that does this, and im sure there are women out there that go through hell when they are pregnant they may even read this and think whatever i wish i had a pregnancy like yours, but they can think what they want like i said some women love pregnancy, but i HATE it. And i Couldn't be happier that this is the last one!

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