So I have heard of post partum depression but I am already feeling super down at 38 weeks. I know the reason...

I have no friends.

My gay best friend wants nothing to do with me because he is too busy doing his daily grind of drug use and spending loads of cash because he is the product of a family trust fund and doesn't have to work.   I have seen him slowly deteriorate over an 8 year period and he has in the past, unfortunately, drug me down with him (not in the drug use arena but just socially).  Even before my pregnancy I had been trying to tell him to get his life in order that I am tired of picking up the pieces for him and getting my life screwed up in the process.  He hasn't been a part of my life since I found out I was pregnant. He has chosen a life of drugs over maintaining our relationship. But he is a drug addict, it's a disease. The last time I saw him was a month ago - he was the skinniest I had ever seen him!! It really scared me. What's more screwed up is that he won't return any of my phone calls!  It had been over 6 months before I even heard back from his mother (who had pleaded I help him somehow because she is afraid he is going to die because he can't stop).   She is quite the lush though - I wonder if she even remembers talking to me about it. 

So not only do I not have any friends now that I am pregnant - but I get to see my best friend slowly kill himself and there's absolutely nothing I can say or do to change that...

I feel so helpless...

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Apr. 19, 2011 at 2:02 PM Honey, i'm sorry your friend is in trouble. This is gonna be hard to take but i'm gonna be honest... you gotta let him go. Would you rather be happy by yourself or sick with him? He's not making an effort to get help or maintain your relationship and after 8 long years of watching it get worse it's not going to get better until he wants to. My husband is a former addict that hit the hard stuff after his brother died and he refused to stop until he woke up one day and looked in the mirror and decided to stop. He did it alone and went through withdrawal. 3 years clean but he says the cravings never go away. You're going to have to let him be and concentrate on your baby. You'll never be alone again once they arrive. You got tons of friends on here who know what you're going through. Baby girl you just gotta know when to let go. I'm here.

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Apr. 20, 2011 at 8:04 AM

Thanks for the honesty - and that is something I completely agree with. My fiance has been clean for 18 months and we both know there is nothing we can do for him but move on with our lives.  My fiance and a few of his sober friends have tried to get my best friend to go to meetings...but he won't go of course.  I had told my best friend that although I deeply care for him that I can't afford to be affected by his life choices, especially now that I have a daughter on the way.  I let him go 9 months ago - but the sting of the realization that he's kiling himself just gets me down.  I have only spoken to him and seen him in person twice during those 9 months. I just hope he does look in the mirror one day.  I just hope it won't be too late. 


Thank you's good to know someone is listening. :-)

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