Friendship  ~ None of that Sissy Shit

Are  you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always  sound good, but never actually come close to  reality?

Well,  here is a series of promises that actually speak of true  friendship.

You  will see no cute little smiley faces on this  ~
  Just  the stone cold truth of our great  friendship.

1..  When you are sad ~
  I  will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the  sorry bastard who made you sad.

2.  When you are blue ~ 
I  will try to dislodge whatever is choking  you. 
3  When you smile ~ I  will know you are thinking of something that I would  probably want to be involved in. 

4.  When you are scared ~ 
I  will rag on you about it every chance I get until you're  NOT.

When  you are worried ~  I  will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it  could be until you quit whining.

6.  When you are confused ~ 
I  will try to use only little words.

When  you are sick  ~  Stay  the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't  want whatever you have.

8.  When you fall ~ 
I  will laugh at your clumsy ass, but I'll help you  up.

9.  This is my oath ....
 I  pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask ~ because you  are my friend..

Friendship  is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only  you can  feel the true warmth.

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