Being a new SAHM is not nearly as easy as I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong I new there would be challenges as well as frustrations with the children, however with being home a lot, especially in the weather, means the toys are out and the house gets messy. I have been sick the majority of the time since I quit working so finding the motivation to get up and clean has been lacking. When I feel good I want to get out and play with the kids or go to the mall. I got a big let down today when I called to see if we could get preapproved for a house, and we couldn't. They can only count some of our income which doesnt make sense but whatever I guess. I know things will change in the future but thats a whole different story. I was really looking forward to packing and reorganizing EVERYTHING we own. There are boxes upon boxes of old papers and JUNK that we need to go through and get rid of. Being in a 2 bedroom apartment with 2 kids is not easy. Luckilly Trevyn is not walking yet but as he gets older and can play with toys, I am noticing a LACK of space that we have. My husband seems to think its okay but I just see more and more clutter building up. So much has changed since my son was born and life is no where near where it was. I love my family and want the best for them and I am the one who needs to figure out how to take care of teh chaos in my home. It is not a relaxing environment for me and therefore adding stress to the kids. My goal is to clean up dishes and the kitchen after EVERY meal and not every couple days, do a load of laundry every day and to vacuum at least every other night. These seem like very simple goals but it is SO hard to want to clean the house on days my husband is home and sleeping in or laying on the couch taking a nap. I wish I could take a nap and not have to worry about someone being awake with the kids. If I take a nap, chances are he will lay on the couch watching cartoons with our oldest and fall asleep leaving the children unattended. Don't get me wrong, he's not in a deep sleep and wakes up and the littlest noise, but I rememeber my dad working nights and sleeping/napping on the couch like he did and that was about ALL I remember from him growing up and it is not what I want for my children. I try to explain it to hiim but he doesnt understand. So here I am going on 4 hours of sleep every night trying to come up with ways to balance time with teh children, cleaning schedules, and homework schedules. did I mention I'm taking online classes too? Then my husband always wonders why I'm tired all the time and dont want to stay up and spend time with him. Maybe if I was the one taking naps and sleeping in all the time then I would have more energy but it doesnt seem to work like that. anyway enough with venting - it makes me feel better to get it off my chest! :) I love my husband and children to death - lets see how these goals work!


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