ok short back story....

The kids step grandma. she dated the kids grandpa for a long time. she does not like the kids father. she finally marries kids grandpa 7 years ago. she refuses to give up her house or move in with kid grandpa. he keeps his house cause kids did can not take care of himself so kids dad lives there. so they have two houses. I met kids dad when my oldest dd was 2 they adored her spoiled her and then when my middle dd came along. my oldest got pushed away cause she was not their grand child by blood. when I had my youngest dd the kids dad and I were split up. the step grandma.. didn't even acknowledge my youngest till after a paternity test was done when she was one.

Fast forward to now.

Step grandma still spoils my middle dd. sometimes I feel she is trying to take my place. my middle dd has her own room at step grandmas house. while my youngest when she stays sleeps on a pull out couch in the office. my middle dd has tons od toys and clothes at her step grandmas and they are always taking her places and doing stuff for her. She did sign my youngest dd up for swim classes but that was only case my youngest dd wanted to go and asked grandpa and he signed her up. I do not like her. im sorry I have tried and tried to like her but I don't. she is a snob to the extreme she acts like she is better then me. she is constantly telling me im doing things wrong in my life. when i said something about going back to school, she asked if I thought it was appropriate at my age to waste my time. She was very nice and loaned me 700 dollars to pay off repairs on my car from a car accident. I paid her back in full. I was supposed to be paying her 25 dollars a month but whenever I would have her money she would not come get it. so I got the money and paid her back in full. and she made a big scene about it infront of my kids. telling them that I was doing it all wrong. that if they can ever pay someone back a little at a time then thats how they should do it. not to waste all the money to pay it off at once.She is constantly telling me I don't pay my bills right that buying my kids new clothes twice a year is a waste of my money. we actually had Christmas this year with out her and the kids grandpa. cause last year I hardly had any money. I bought the kids each three gifts and got them some clothes and she complained the whole time while we were recording them opening gifts. saying that i spoil my kids. i don't discipline them right that she never got any of that stuff when she was a kid.

the kids grandpa loves all three of my girls. he includes my oldest dd as one of his grand kids. whenever he is in this part of town,( he lives like thirty minutes away) he will stop and see the kids. if he knows im working and its a week day and the kids have no school,. he will stop and pick all three of my dd's up and take them to lunch.during the summer he will come get them and take them all to the pool or to the movies. my oldest dd is almost 16 and he wants to buy her her first car and pay a year on the insurace. he is so nice to my kids. I think he is trying to make up with my kids what he lost with his son.

Well earlier this week we were talking about what to do for Easter. usually we have a huge dinner at my aunts,. this year it is off cause my cousin is getting married next month. so then we said something about having dinner either here or at my boyfriends moms house. we were going to hide eggs and maybe just cook out or something fun. then my middle dd speaks up and says. her step grandma was planning on having Easter at her house. she even went and bought a freaking 400 dollar trampoline for the kids. and she invited everyone. all the cousins and everything. and we were invited too.I know its weird that since the kids dad and I have not been with each other for 6 years now. But I still get invited to family functions on that side. i don't go to them much. but I do get invited. so i thought it was cool. figured we could go, hang out, eat, watch the kids play. and help hide Easter eggs or something.

well tonight my middle dd was telling me about Easter and said that her step grandma was going to pick her and her sister up early. I told her " why don't we just all go together" then she looks at me almost crying and says her step grandma did not invite my self or my oldest dd or my boyfriend. now i wasn't worried about him going or not. no big deal but to not invite at least the oldest dd. im upset about it. we were only going to go for the kids and then come home and just relax and let the youngest two hangout with the cousins.

so I told my middle dd. that was fine but I was going to call and have a talk with her step grandma. and if it is true that even my oldest dd is not going to be invited. and like i said we are all ,even my boyfriend. usually invited to everything. then maybe we will just go to my boyfriends moms. hide eggs and cook out or something fun. and she started to cry cause she don't want to be with us. she wants to go to her step grandmas/ im upset cause i feel like this woman is trying to take my kids from me. i mean she means well in her own way,. but there is just something about her that bothers me. and i don't like it at all..

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Apr. 21, 2011 at 10:13 AM In hindsight you should have nipped that in the bud long ago with step grandma because the end result is situations like this. But that doesn't mean it has to stay this way. Myhusband had a strong bond with his oldest and zero with his youngest b/c his ex let anger rule and didn't allow him to even see her until a judge ordered it. End result, he clearly obviously favored the oldest. I spoke to him multiple times about the future damage he was doing. I said eventually all the kids are going to resent Jenna and you and she's not going to understanf why. It took sometime but he made an effort, started slow but it continued and it got betterand I know favoring is no longer an issue with dad and the kids. Grandparents ugh that's harder. My father 100% favors my oldest. It infuriates me to no end. We've tried taking and eventually even fighting. The only solution (for us) was flat out refusig to allow him to do it. If you can't take all the kids on a walk, you take nobody. My husband's family is awesome that way they have always included my oldest from day one but that's the kind of people they are. My husbands father would sometimes take his brother and sister(from mils 2nd marriage) and weekends etc.
Its hard because your daughter loves her stepgrandma and vice versa but step grandmas love and attention is causing problems. This is something you need to

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Apr. 21, 2011 at 10:17 AM Sorry I'm on my phone- you need to handle this with her NOW. because imo its a bit out of control, as an adult to a child you do NOT tell the child she's invited but not her oldest sister AND mother! Look at that emotional position she's forced on your kid, its terrible and completely unnecessary. Good luck and don't give up, they are YOUR children

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