OK, I know there are some out there that can sympathize with this. Are you a tired and overworked mom? Do you work 30-40 hours outside the home to have to come home and make dinner, do dishes, help with homework, do laundry and then clean the entire f'n house too?  Do you?  I have a new theory. They are just trying to keep us from dying. Now hear me out because they may just be doing us a favor.

See, on top of all this, I'm doing a 20 hour internship AND going to grad school for the third round because I enjoy selling my kidney to Sallie Mae every few years.  But I come home from all this and NOTHING has moved. Not even the pile of animal barf that I stepped over on the way out the door yelling, "Hey can someone get this for me because I'm late."  Lots of chatter of yes dear and yes mom only to come home and find a second pile of animal puke right next to the first one. See, even the animals are chipping in to keep me alive.

Here's why. I think, now follow me here...I think they believe that if I had NOTHING to complain about that I would die. By not lifting a finger, sniff, sniff, they are showing how much the want to keep me around. They are illustrating how much they LOVE the sound of my voice mumbling about how lazy they are and that THEY would be the ones to die if I ever kicked the bucket. 

How far have they gone to prove their love?  Well, I went on strike. Two weeks, I refused to do laundry, mop the floor, pick up animal by-products, do dishes or cook.  They managed to survive around all the clutter and mess. Hey, they even went so far as to bring home paper dishes as a way to show their concern over my impending death because they left me EVERY dish in the house to wash.  The animals were quite happy with the ramen cups and Chinese food boxes left all over the floor. I was quite certain the health department would also come and show their concern for my liveliness.

With all this clutter, smell and dirt, my chest started to hurt. I had pains in my left arm (not joking). My head felt as if it would explode from all the love that was left lying around. All these tokens of their affection left for me to pick up. OMG they do care! They cared so much about my aches and pains they recommended I start doing my chores again so I would feel better! Aren't they the mother f'n best? 

So ladies, they aren't leaving things around because they are lazy.  They leave them around so we don't die from having nothing to do because if our mouths stop moving, we may explode.  I have plenty to mumble under my breath tonight as I clean the bedrooms and mop the hardwood floors my husband put in because the floors would be easier for me to clean than the thirty seconds it used to take me with the vacuum on the carpet! How considerate he is.  I believe I have a few things to mutter about him too to get out from inside before those explode as well.

So give them all a kiss. They just want you to live an extra long time.

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Apr. 21, 2011 at 8:25 PM

You are my hero.  Making my family read this.  Hubby does plenty around the house, and teenager does her chores, buy good gravy, NO ONE picks up after themselves!!!!!!  Preach it, sistah!

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Apr. 21, 2011 at 8:55 PM

I was wondering what made my family seem to think that I am the only one who can cook, clean, do laundry, make lunches and remember everything from bedtimes to appointments (for every member of my family, including my husband).

You have shed light on this perplexing question.

Thank you.

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Apr. 21, 2011 at 9:10 PM

I asked my husband once what he would do if I died and he was left on his own with the house and kids. He told me with absolute certainty that it would never happen, God wouldn't allow it. I rolled my eyes and flippantly asked why he was so certain. He said "God's a man. He understands what a bad idea that would be."

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Apr. 21, 2011 at 9:28 PM

We would be waist deep in crap if I wasn't loved so much. 

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Apr. 21, 2011 at 9:36 PM

rolling on floor

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Apr. 22, 2011 at 12:56 AM


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Apr. 22, 2011 at 2:26 AM

OMGosh...that does seem true sometimes, huh? :-)

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Apr. 22, 2011 at 8:54 AM

lol just love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Apr. 22, 2011 at 9:39 AM

As I sit here sarcastically asking DH if he was born in a barn, I'm reading this and laughing. Thank you. You are awesome.   

you rock

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Apr. 22, 2011 at 10:20 AM

Well then im DEF loved here.......I dont ask ANYONE to lift a finger here...I just do it myself and it gets done!......Ladies if you want something done perhaps you might as well save your  LAST DYING BREATH and do it yourself....sad sad. Thank you for sharing your post!! So true.

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