I never really felt like I was part of the family I was born to but I look like my mom I always wondered how my mother the woman whom gave me birth acted like I did something wrong  all ever really wanted was her to say Ilov u I'm so proud of you but there never going to happen I ‘m never going to see my mother or at least not for a very long time never wanted this but life is funny that way and never asks a=us what we what If it did I would of said PEACE and have and more understanding mother  who was there when I needed her most not turning her back on me I feel so lonely my family been sending me emails to come visit and how the love and miss me but mostly the boys but it hurts still never the less still making me sound like the bad guy when in truth there is no bad guy just a women who was so unhappy she couldn't have anyone else to feel happy even her first daughter felt her pain she tried over the years to pull her mother up while watching over her little sister when this young girl's mother got mad she yelled and then hit her in a crazy rage then the young girl would cry in pillow cause her unkind family would call her baby when they saw her cry so learned to not let them see her cry she started to write poems cause her heart was sad and no would listen she felt like she was trapped as she got older she would write poems about all things they said mean about her as a way to eas her pain

a family all her own someone to love her tell she wasn't dumb, or bitch as mother said that she wasn't worthless  she tried to forget the times her mother even lost her temper and said i brought you into this world and i can take you out she wishe it was all just a bad dream one which she would wake to find a lovely mother and she would hug me and say i love u

but that's not not how my life went i learned that even after trying to get from other grow ups no one helped she was going to have to save her self but how she was still a child .....


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