Ok so I coulndt rent but I still coulda did something else...I move so mechanical so rigid. No fun. I stress and worry bout how to pay bills all the time. I never have any fun. Everytime I get around to getting myself something I have to feel guilty. I hate being ihousebound. I don't want to become irraresponsible but being responsible is no fun. That is what me and my life so much fun before. I was never took care of anything. That is how I did most things. Even when I got jobs I was wreckless.

Having a kid has made me lose that sense of me. I get why ppl use to be so mad and evyous at me. I was what they couldnt do. They never got to be free and live and enjoy life. They were always stuck with a kid.

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