April 24, 2011

So, Braeden took his first dose of ADHD meds. today.  He's on 5mg. Focalin xr, and it has been such a strange day for me!  I've realized many things today, and here are just a few.

1) I'm used to living in total chaos!  I never before realized just how out of control Braeden's moods have been.  My son is my sunshine, and I love him so very much, but until today I truly did not realize how difficult things have become.  I guess this is because I do love him so much, and always see the good and special in him.  Also, because I stay at home with the kids I've gotten used to it. 

2) Braeden is much more mature than I have been giving him credit for.  His psychiatrist explained it to me this way... Although Braeden is very intelligent, his thoughts are spinning so fast, that he can not properly communicate his thoughts and feelings, and because of this "spinning" he can not concentrate on what is going on around him.  In theory, I knew this, but seeing the difference in him today, I really get it now.  He was able to calmy tell me when his little sister did something to upset him, instead of flying into an overblown emotional meltdown, he was able to sit down with me and discuss how feels about school, and friends, and his dad traveling.... Of course we sit and talk, and I am always asking about his day and about his feelings, but he has never been able to communicate them so clearly before.

3) Apparently I feed off of the emotional energy of my children, or so it felt like today.  Usually, I am eaten up with anxiety, especially when both kids are home.  I know I have an anxiety disorder (thanks mom and grandma), but with Braeden being so calm and level headed (at least calm and level headed for a five year old), I was able to sit back and really evaluate the way I have handled situations with him in the past.  I can definitely see where my responses were of no help to him or the situation, but instead let my frustration come out.  I need to learn how to sit back, and calmly look at what is going on through the "spinning" brain of my son.  I thought I was pretty good at that, but again, with it so calm at home today, I realize that I was just fanning the flames instead of really helping.  This makes me so sad!  I want nothing more than to help my children, and I can think of several instances when I became too frustrated and let it show. 

Hopefully this treatment will continue to help Braeden.  He hasn't taken it on a school day yet, and after this weekend, I will not be giving it to him on the weekend (want to give it a trial run while I am around to observe him).  I really hope Monday goes well for him.  He's had problems making and keeping friends at school because of his hyperactivity, and I know it interferes with his school work, and disrupts the other childrens work as well... I just pray this continues to help him. 

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Apr. 24, 2011 at 3:08 AM I know how that is. I'm 21 and I have ADHD. I hope it works out for you and your child. ADHD is very difficult to deal with. I am not medicated right now, which is why I teach kindergarten, because their attention spans are as short as mine.

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Apr. 24, 2011 at 3:10 AM

He's in kindergarten this year, and his teacher has been amazing!!  I really admire you guys!  I don't think I could handle a whole classroom of 5 and 6 year olds!

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