One discipline issue that you have to face when it comes to raising children is saying "No."  Everyone detests the word because they know what they want is simply not happening, most especially children.  You must have a few tricks up your sleeve so that your house will not be echoing with shouts of No and screams of unfair treatment.

        Toddlers and preschoolers are quite hard to contain when something that they want is taken from them, or if something that they want to do is not allowed.  When these situations arise, expect a great tantrum that can last for several minutes, leaving both of you frustrated, drained, and frazzled.  If it is something that will really harm your little one, do your best to keep it from sight.  Most toddlers go to places that they should not be going because of curiosity and boredom.  Keep your child entertained by giving him some supervised time outside, or have him beside you with other toys that he can play with safely as you prepare dinner.

        There will be times that your child will be positively incessant that you give something to him, and it can be quite annoying and irritating.  Do not lose your temper, but instead, hear your child out.  Let him tell you why he should get the thing that he must have more than anything.  And by this, you really have to hear him out and listen.  Do not go into a patronizing attitude by saying "yes of course" and "most certainly" but in the end you have to say no.  If you have to say no because what he wants requires a lot of responsibility on his part, have him see this and counterbalance it with the reason why he wants it.  If it is something that is really expensive and totally useless, you have to say to him firmly that the family simply cannot afford having it in the expense of cutting down some privileges such as good food and a warm environment during cold season.

        See if you can compromise over what your child wants.  Say for example your daughter wants to have a ceramic doll. You know that your daughter is not of age to fully be able to handle such a delicate doll in the proper manner.  Tell her that the doll is pretty and all, but she will not be able to play with it - explain that it will only be kept inside a cabinet so it will not break.  Then show her another doll that is just as pretty but can be brought outside to have a tea party with friends because it does not break and will wash perfectly.  

        When you say no, you have to mean it.  The reason why your child often badgers you with incessant requests is because you eventually give in just to stop the badgering - or simply because you love your child that to fully say no is hurtful to both of you.  You will be doing your child good by keeping to your word.  He will know that you will remain firm in what you say and will respect your decision because you are a parent.  Consistency is the key to have the child fully get the idea that you mean "no" when you say "no."

        Do not be hard on yourself when you have to say "no" to your children.  They must learn that not everything is there for their pleasure.   Constantly saying no, however, will only build resentment and rebellion.  You must strike a balance so that your child will grow up respecting the rules and knowing that there are things that they cannot have because they are not needed, or will cause them harm. The reality is that parenting is a tough job!

Find hundreds of free toddlers activities & games, toddler arts & crafts, kids easy recipes, free kids books for bedtime reading and help to learn Good Parenting Skills at our website 

Add A Comment


Apr. 25, 2011 at 12:33 AM


Message Friend Invite

Want to leave a comment and join the discussion?

Sign up for CafeMom!

Already a member? Click here to log in