I lost the woman I take care of died yesterday morning, I only left her for 15 mins. came back and she stopped breathing. Her name was Kay and she just had her 83rd on the 19th of this month. One of the worst parts is the woman is my boyfriends mother. I'm having really hard time handling the whole thing because even though I know there was nothing more that I could have done that I hadn't already done, which was doing cpr and just being there with her in the end, but it hurts to know that I couldn't have done more so my boyfriend could say goodbye. I know that her time had came and she was ready to go, and that her last week was rough on her. I'm having a hard time with feeling like I should be doing something all day because I was always doing something with her. My son is staying with his dad until the funeral because I'm having a hard time but I wish my son was here to help break up the silence. I keep thinking I'm hearing her calling me and I keep wanting to check on her and when I look in her and see that it's empty it brings everything back full force and all I can see is her the way I found her. It's also bringing up alot of memories of when my mom passed away which I was a little over five years ago. I know that Kay wasn't my mom and I only knew her a year but I got very close with her and even though she could be a pain at times I really loved her and I will miss her very much. 


Kay I hope you are finally at peace and with your husband once again! You will truly be missed. 

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Comments:

Kelly...
Apr. 29, 2011 at 8:04 PM

  hugs

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bugsa...
Apr. 29, 2011 at 9:32 PM

sorry to hear about Kay's passing.  Losing someone to death is never easy and only time will heal your sorrow.  Don't be too hard on yourself about not being there during the final moments.  Her time had come and it was meant to be this way.

Know in your heart she is in a better place and you did all you could for her on earth, now its her time to live eternally in heaven.

 

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daisyb
Apr. 30, 2011 at 5:41 PM

I am So Sorry for your Loss & your Boyfriend- i bet Kay was So Thankful to have you in her life- & to help her through until the end- you will be in my thoughts...

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