Wow, a journal... You know, this is exactly what I need... a place to just lay it all down.... Just where to begin... guess I don't have to much time today, but I will keep a journal on my computer so whenever I gain wifi access, I can just copy and paste... That will help me out a lot emotionally since I have no one I can really talk to... My husband just doesn't understand all of me, purely for the fact that he's always had to take care of himself, and he learned young to not care about anyone but himself, so he has a lot of issues with communicating with me the way I need to... So, wish me luck on being able to confess to the world the tragedies of growing up, and the fears for the future. This little girl has no clue what she's walking in on... That is why I feel regret for concieving her. Her family on both sides is messed up, genetically as well as environmentally.... My family is all far away, and his is just plain crazy... Boondock redneck crazy is just the tip of the iceburg when it comes to my in laws... :( I guess that's all I can really write right now since my husband is bound to be back to Denny's any minute. Yes, you read right, Denny's... it's the only place we can afford that has wifi... :( I pray to God that we can get out of this rut soon... I don't know how much more I can take...

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