I suffer from... do you? this is for all who do.

[Dannille33]

As you may know ...

This is Mental Health Awareness month.

I have PTSD, Anxiety and panic disorder.. and Agoraphobia. I've had them full force for 2 yrs.. I'm working hard to survive and to over come.

I am trying to raise Awareness.. and today I just sat down and this came to me.

I often write poetry but this is raw.. and yes I know needs editing..

but.. I am raw with this disorder.. and so I am leaving this poem I wrote the way it is.

Please.. have a read.. Comment if you wish..

and .. Hugs to those who suffer from Mental Illness and those who have family members or loved ones that do.

This is for all of us!!!

The Monster inside.

I am locked inside my self

My thoughts seem to control me

Just when I feel I can start to live

My fears come to surface

I am again consumed by this monster

The very inner feeling that scares me

Does it have a name you ask?

How can it have such a strong grasp?

Well, perhaps if you had this same monster inside

you might feel the how the way I do.

Some describe it as hell on earth

and some just take it for what its worth.

Can't you see it?

The monster inside me.

The way it makes me shakes

the way it takes my breath.

Sometimes it even causes my heart to race.

It makes it hard to be a person, to be

the person I use to be.

As much as they tell me I shall never get use to it.

I use to live my life as anyone should,

now I take the days good days as anyone would.

The bad days I struggle and mentally tried to survive.

I  keep asking Why me?

What did I do so that God would put me through this

personal Hell.

Then I see how I have grown and how somethings have turned out well.

No you cannot see my hurt inside.

You might have witnessed the tears I've cried.

You can't feel the dizziness and disorientation.

Though you have seen how I seldom go anywhere.

The guilt and hurt this causes me having it,

makes me feel that life isn't worth living this way.

So many people look at me crazy

they tell me what I feel is fake.

HEY I'M Not Crazy!

I'm just surviving, yet parts of me are dying.

I'm trying to live, when some times I feel

death would rid me of this feeling.

You don't have to blame me for what I cannot do now.

I do enough of that myself plus more.

Please don't understand me

its really no use.

Just support me

it's easier to do.

Help me when I calling crying because I need to know

that I am not alone.

KEEP SURVIVING !!! YOU ARE NEVER ALONE!!

[Lb128f]

May. 5, 2011 at 10:41 PM

Thank you for sharing this information and your poem! Very good!

[Lb128f]

May. 5, 2011 at 10:41 PM

Voted POP!

[Lb128f]

May. 5, 2011 at 10:43 PM

Group Support --

http://www.cafemom.com/group/107780/ Stop! Letting Anxiety, Stress and Panic Control you!!! We can HELP!

[mizkriz73]

May. 6, 2011 at 12:03 AM

Good post, I also suffer from anxiety and depression. It is hard when you have to try and do things. I wish more people were more understanding about it.

[kristine2012]

May. 14, 2011 at 8:31 PM

What a wonderful poem & truly accurate. I know the exact thoughts, feelings & emotions you describe. You seriously have to be a fighter to live with this on a daily basis. I can go through years unaffected & bam it's back with a vengance. Been struggling alot the last few months & believe me when I say I loved your post. Hugs to you <3