It happened again.....

[ozade8]

except this time, it involved total strangers......

We were recently at the park, Brodey, Sophia, Kennady and myself, Brodey and Sophia were playing nicely in the sand, our friends left a few minutes prior, but we decided to hang out a bit longer since daddy was working late anyways.  Brodey was sharing a toy with a little boy we did not know, and the little boy became agitated when Brodey picked it up after the little boy had laid it in the sand.  I sat back, waiting to see what happened, as did the other mother.  Brodey tried explaining to the boy that he needed it for a minute, and the little boy would not have it at all. He began to hit  and push Brodey.  Brodey moved himself away, and I could see the frustration on his face. He raised his voice a bit and said " We don't hit", " you don't hit me", to the little boy. The little boy's mother immediately began telling Brodey that he should NOT talk to her son that way. "REALLY", I replied!  She looked at me, stunned. I asked her, "why shouldn't my son talk to your son that way?"....her reason......."your son is older than my son, and it isn't nice to talk that way" 

This baffles me to no end. My son is 3 1/2, he never touched the little boy, he simply used his words. The other little boy was probably about 2, but was perfectly capable of using words properly. He had an excellent vocabulary. 

So what is it with the age thing?  My son is 3, and very intelligent, very good with words, and not afraid to use them. Do people expect him to push/hit/kick..etc?  Do they WANT him to do that, instead of using words? So what if his voice is raised, he was upset, maybe even angry! I raise my voice when I get angry or upset too, who doesn't? 

I have, on many many occasions, sat down with both of my children (and one day will do the same with Kennady), and talked to them about the importance of expressing themselves.  To use words, rather than hitting, biting, kicking, etc.  I'm not saying they NEVER do these things, I'm saying I've taught them better, and I expect better of them. They use their words.

I took the time to teach them this; I'm going to be blunt here, but why don't more parents actually TAKE THE TIME, to teach their children these common sense things?  Why do they expect my 3 year old to behave like the 2 year old little boy did at the park that day?  Why is it so hard to comprehend that my son is smart, and uses words instead of violence to express himself?  Laziness, if you ask me, parents are lazy....plain and simple.

Brodey is a very unique personality, I've had the pleasure of meeting a couple of other mom's of very well spoken children here in Ridgecrest, and I appreciate their patience and understanding of my parenting choices and of my children's ability to use words properly.

If they want to tell someone they are angry, so be it, even if they raise their voice, even if it's an ADULT they are expressing themselves too....so what, they learned a skill that not many children have the pleasure of learning in the world today. 

I'm Proud!!  Very PROUD!!!  I have incredibely intelligent children...that gives me bragging rights!!

[Sweetcollegemom]

May. 22, 2011 at 3:57 PM

First of all bravo for your little boy. I teach my kids the same thing. I don't think the other mom wanted your son to hit yours, but I think she was just too lazy to discipline her own child and got upset when your son did. I would have told her that she's probably lucky that you taught your son better to not hit because it saved hers from being smacked back. I see it all the time. I have a two year old who I am teaching to use words and not hitting, I know my son hits. If my son was the one who hit yours, I would have not have snapped at your son, but my focus would have been on my own son's behavior and having him apologize. That's what she should have done. You are raising a good kid. :)

[ozade8]

May. 22, 2011 at 7:02 PM

Thank you!!  This is the second time this has happened with my son, the first time was actually with "friends" though and obviously they turned out to not be friends because I was told that we weren't welcome  back to groups. If they can live with the decision to basically kick a 3 year old out of groups...then okay..but I would be embarrassed to be them.

I agree too, I honestly think the woman was embarrassed and didn't know what to do, so she just tried to call my son out for using his words...seriously just blows my mind, I have no idea what people expect, but I'm proud of my son and the fact that he is good with words and feelings. 

(Original Poster)