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Making a difference...
- Jun 23, 2011 at 9:01 AM
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- Comments (21) Total Views (589) Everyone can see this journal post.
Your way of life ...
Your loved ones ...
Your ability to care for your family ...
Your sense of security ...
If I make it all about you, will you bother????
Because I know that you don't want to think it can happen to you. But it can.
When widowed, women around the world often lose not only their life partner, but also their way of life. In many countries, women are not allowed to travel unaccompanied, not allowed to work outside the home, not allowed to own property, and more. In this country, women commonly lose the main breadwinner, their access to healthcare, and even the most basic of lifestyles. They often struggle financially, unable to make ends meet. Often unseen, these women and their children go without. They often struggle physically, to care for the home, yard, autos, and children, and they universally struggle with the enormous pain of the loss. In addition, widowhood still carries with it a stigma and an unthinkable loss of social support.
Most of us will be widowed someday. Many of us already are. If you don't know firsthand what the journey of a widow is, count your blessings.
This is just the MOST BASIC beginning, but here are some things you can do: Offer words of support, offer kindness, offer help. Simple things can make a difference. The stereotypical elderly widow on the corner that you see struggling to weed her flowerbeds? Stop to help. The young widowed mother who needs a break? Babysit for an afternoon. The widowed mom sitting alone at the teen's sporting event? Join her.
This is a day for global awareness, but remember that awareness begins right in your own backyard, Until all of us begin to realize the struggles experienced by a grieving family here at home, we cannnot begin to comprehend the struggles of a grieving family in another land. Understanding begins here. Understanding - and change - begins with you.
Make a difference today. Make a difference in the life of a widow. Kindness matters.
Comments:
SUPPORT!
It is true. In Haiti, although I had on paper the right to keep my property, the government will not enforce property rights. I am blessed to be here. Life is very hard in Haiti.
It is hard here too, I work 2 jobs to care for my daughters. People look and say "where is their father?". He is dead.
I'm always so disappointed when this topic is discussed on this website. This, of all places, should be a place where women strive to understand. But here, just like everywhere else in society, this is largely ignored. It's pretty disgusting.
We're one of those families. I am a widow. We have gone without many times - and not just without new clothes or dining out, but without heat, without meals, and more. Sometimes, it's the "more" that's the hardest. and no, I don't just mean without the love of my life.
I hear you, Jinx - and you're not wrong. Notice, with the exception of one (thank you snivic), who's commenting. It's us. Widows. Just us. 79 views and yet no voices. I am deeply saddened.
Being widowed means so much more than any woman can understand until she's here. I know that. I know it's hard to understand, impossible to imagine. I wish I didn't, but I know that. But really, when you see me struggling for hours just to pull start my lawnmower, would it really be too much to help? That's just one example, but surely you get my point.
Thank you for posting this information!
I'm very lucky, if you can call it that. When my husband died, insurance paid. Health insurance covered the majority of his medical bills and life insurance paid, and continues to pay, many bills. Investments pay dividends. We're in a far better position than most. Yet there are still so many issues, struggles, problems, difficulties. Friends, neighbors, townspeople, even family - they often think that you're ok because you look ok. They don't notice - or maybe it's that they choose not to notice - all of the troubles. It's easy to ignore when it's not happening to you. I guess I don't understand that. Why is it easy to ignore?
Kate, thanks for posting.
Casey, well said, yes, every woman's issue.
Snivic and Lb128f, thanks for the support, it's appreciated.
Anna, how terrible that property rights for women go unenforced!
Jinx, Gianna, Jane - you're all right, it's not too much to ask, it is largely ignored, and I don't know why it's so easy to simply disregard the people suffering such a common - and inevitable - issue.
Until we deal with the avoidance, the stigma, and the all-too-common decisions to turn a blind eye to this here in the United States, we are rendered helpless to help advocate for widows rights the world over.
Yes, all government forms should have a box for "widowed", not only the choices of married, single, or divorced.
Yes, more help should be made available for widows, to assist them to get back on their feet following the loss.
Yes, assistance should be available for the higher education of the children who have lost a parent to death.
Yes, schools and other community agencies should provide resources and actual help for families struggling with grief and loss.
Yes, there is much much much work to be done. And now there are 122 views on this post and a pawltry 9 voices ...
where is yours?
No one could possibly imagine having your whole life ripped apart the way widows do. One second my husband was alive and well and the next I didn't know what I was going to do, how I was going to support our family, how I was even going to tell our girls. I thank God for the support I have received and the amazing people who have entered my life due to this tragedy. Support here!
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THANK YOU! This is EVERY WOMAN'S issue! Come together, support each other, offer help, and help to overcome the stereotypes!
No one who hasn't walked in these shoes understands the pain. But it's so much more. It's not only the grief and the loss, but the struggle that comes with this life can be crippling!
- caseyandkids
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