am beginning to finally realize that I truly am addicted to food. I
crave it not just for fueling my body, I crave the texture, taste and
smell. When I have something I really like ie: cake, ice cream,
chips...I can't stop at just a serving. I have to eat 3 servings. I know
when I'm doing this, I am conscious of going fro the next serving and
inside I'm hating myself doing it. But it's like I have no control over
it. In my mind I'm always justifying it by I'll do better tomorrow. I'll
just eat it all then I wont be tempted. OMG am I nuts? If I could just
stay in my house and not see the ffod I crave I'll do good. No you
really wont. Cause next time I go to the store I'll see something I want
and justify buying it. How can I stop this madness. I hate myself so
much. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I hate trying to get into
my clothes or how I look in them. I know the correct things to do to
lose weight and get healthy. I want to do them so much. I do realize
lots of my eating is stress related. I hurt my back at work 2 years ago.
Since then I have gained almost 25 lbs. This has put a strain on my
health, my outlook, my marriage. There are so many things that hurt me
and so I eat. Then I eat some more. I can justify so many things but
when push comes to shove I look at the fat person in the mirror and ask
Who the hell are you?
Every journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.