I joined this site shortly after I had my first son.  In the past 2 years I have mostly been a lurker, commenting on a few things, posted a few journals, ect.  I have learned a lot.  For instance when I joined I had no idea that people had their baby at home on purpose, or that it was legal to withhold vaccinations for reasons other than religion.  I was a naiive 21 year old who thought i knew it all.  Haha.  (Now I know what my mother was talking about. :) )  But I digress.  I joined this site with the intention of finding support in my hour of need.  It was 3 am, I was EXHAUSTED and had been up all night with my newborn and my husband was at work.  I needed someone to say I understand and mean it.  I found it that night.  Since then, I have seen a lot of moms on here degrading and arguing and I even admit to joining in once or twice although I tried to do so intelligently and not in a degrading manner.  There are so many arguments over the ways we raise out children.  I have 2.  One is 2.5 and the new baby is 3.5 months.  Thanks to all the wonderful women on here and learning about the different ways people raise and care for their babies, I have raised my children in different ways.

My first child came home from the hospital and he slept in the bassinet in our room.  After all rooming-in was supposed to prevent SIDS.(They like to scare the hell out of you over SIDS, dont they?)  He was breast-fed and at every feeding I got out of bed and went to the living room to feed and change him.  I took my mom's advice for making him sleep and I fed him cereal off a spoon at 1 month old to make him sleep better (It didn't work).  I wore him when I did housework and took 6 weeks off before going back to work(I was going stir-crazy! All they do at that age is poop and sleep).  I quit breastfeeding then too because I was a waitress and by law they had to give me time to pump but in practice it would not have worked.  Not going back was not an option.  

With my second, the first night home he slept in my bed, where I nursed him when he woke up.  My husband wasnt a huge fan of this but I was MUCH less tired than last time and my good mood outweighed the little bit of sleep he lost.  He still has not had cereal however he is fully on formula.  I had surgery when he was five weeks old and was on painkillers for a few days where he obviously couldnt feed.  I however am such a lightweight for painkiller that i didnt wake up and pump and dump like I should have.  My production kept getting lower and lower and eventually we were only feeding at night then not at all.  I returned to work after 3 weeks because DH was laid off(and working on my nerves).

Both of my boys were left intact.  Both were vaccinated.  Both are happy and healthy.

The whole point of this in a round about way is everyone has a different situation.  People's situations change between children.  What is right for YOU is not nesseccarily right for ME.  I implore you, mothers of CafeMom, please remember this before you comment.  I was lucky.  In my exhaustion and desperation for support at 3 am I found the right posts and therefore my support I needed.  Hopefully another new mom will be able to find the same.  Please mommas lets be supportive not hateful or hurtful.  I really do like this site but I'm not sure I would have come back if I had seen a post saying breastfeeding is gross or intact penises are ugly.  That would have made me feel worse and we all know how hormone can get the best of you immediately post partum.

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Comments:

Nonoluna
Jun. 29, 2011 at 12:44 PM

VERY well said. :) 

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daisyb
Jun. 29, 2011 at 7:44 PM

Excellent Post:)

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Lb128f
Jun. 29, 2011 at 7:53 PM

Agreed!

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katvi...
Jun. 30, 2011 at 2:01 AM

very well put! (i am also a lurker, lol)

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