Adoption

[Roadfamily6now]

So my Mother In Law for a free month trial at a genealogy website so we have been doing some digging past couple of days. Of course all this ancestry searching brings up the fact that I am adopted and I don't know my biological history. I'm 37 and I have known my whole like I was adopted and I've been very okay with that but deep down inside of me I've always been curious to know more.

Every few years I do some searching of my own and always hit road blocks and brick walls. See years ago, the ONLY types of adoptions being done were closed adoptions. I guess someone thought it was better that way but they were wrong.  I know nothing. I know my birth date and I know what town I was born in.

But I think I have reached a point in my life where I just have to go for it. My bio-mom would be at least in her 50's and I don't want it to be too late.  I don't want to have missed the opportunity to find her and anyone else I might be able to locate.

My own adoption has helped spur my desire to become a surrogate mother.  I wonder what my bio-mom would think about that? Would she be comfortable knowing I gave my DNA to help create 3 families? Would she be proud of me? 

I look at my girls and see a spitting image of myself.  Did my bio-mom look like me?  What will I look like when I am older?  Are there medical problems in my bio-family that I should know about? What about my bio-father? Maybe I look like him.

I love my parents and will forever. My bio-parents will never replace them. I'm just curious and ready to move forward in my search. Perhaps tomorrow, I can get over my fear of phones and call the Adoption Agency. Wish me luck!

[truealaskanmom]

Jul. 7, 2011 at 4:08 AM

good luck that must be so difficult 

[onethentwins]

Jul. 7, 2011 at 3:12 PM

Here on CM there is an "Adoption Search Resource List" group: http://www.cafemom.com/group/35065 The "Adoption Reunion" group has a Search Angel. Look for her in the sticky posts : http://www.cafemom.com/group/14715/forums/read/9480523/Search_Angel 

Be wary of letting the agency get involved in your reunion. They aren't always reunion friendly, some have tried to stop a reunion and some have lied. Just ask for your "Non Identifying Information" and if your birth mother left anything in your file.

You might also think about preparing yourself emotionally. I found the book "Birthright: A guide to search and reunion for Adoptees, Birth Parents and Adoptive Parents" by Jean A Strauss to be wonderful.

Best of luck!

[Roadfamily6now]

Jul. 7, 2011 at 4:19 PM

thank you!

(Original Poster)