Why do we have Mother's Day? A tribute to my mom

[momof3nvw]

"Why do we have Mother's Day, Mommy?" Those are the words of a caption below a 1965 photograph in my mother's worn photo album. She swears those were the words I asked as the picture was being taken. Being only five years old at the time, I don't recall her response, but having lived under her care, and now being 40 with three children of my own, I certainly know the answer. What mother isn't thrilled deep inside with the idea of a day set aside in her honor?

 

My mother is truly deserving of the holiday. She has always been there to support me along life's way. Words of comfort were given at the same time bandages were being applied. Encouragement and the phrase "this, too, shall pass" have been there for me any time I was discouraged or found myself frustrated as a child and as an adult. I cannot think of a day that passed throughout my childhood and teenage years that I did not hear her tell me that she loved me. Hugs and "love pats" were there every day, too. Now "I love you" is the way she ends our weekly phone chats.

 

Mom always tried to keep an open line of communication with me, even when I wasn't being very open. She told me I could tell her anything, and it would never stop her from loving me. I did, and it didn't. She also had open lines of communication with many others who passed through her doors: a troubled teenage nephew who lived with us for the summer before I was four; friends of both my brother and me--many called her Mom; my husband; my brother's wife; and six beautiful grandchildren have all known that my mother would always be there when they needed her.

 

From my mother I received guidance when necessary and the freedom to make my own choices. If my choices were less than perfect, as they often were and sometimes still are, I could read disappointment in Mom's eyes and voice, but she has never comdemned or englected me. Through my mother's efforts, I've learned about patience and tolerance, and she has reminded me that God is alwyas with us.

 

Five and a half years ago, my mother received a phone call that every parent must dread. Her thirty-year-old som had died in an accidental drowning. Every lesson she taught me about love was vitally important then. The only thing I could do was to "be there" to support both of my parents.

 

In dealing with my own children, I sometimes hear her voice and words come out of my mouth. I can only hope that my daughters and son will someday feel the same gratitude and pride about their mother that I feel when I think of my mother.

 

Written in honor of my mother,  May 2001

 

Six years have now passed since I wrote this tribute. Those years have included more words of encouragement during a change in my career, offerings of comfort when coping with the frustrations of three teenage children, and guidance and acceptance as I prepare to make a life-changing choice regarding my marriage. I had the responsibility, privilege, and honor to take care of both of my parents in February when they had major surgery--shoulder replacement after a fall shattered her bones for Mom, and quintuple bypass surgery for Dad. During that time, I once again realized how blessed I have been by them and how they have helped me form the very essence of my personality. I thank them and love them always.