Well as you all know, I miscarried about 8 weeks ago. I was never so devastated in my entire life. I have never lost a child before and I often still wonder why? But I know I will never know the true answer. So since than i haven't received my monthly. I have taken 5 tests from the store and they all say positive. I think I should be excited but it's hard when I know if I am that I'm not that far along. What if i lose this one also? i don't think I could ever try to have another one, On Sunday marked 8 weeks since miscarriage, my chest area is becoming sore again and I can only figure I'm about 6 weeks along, that's when my last one stopped growing. I'm so scared to go to the doctor and find out for sure. i know I won't be able to handle the loss again. My SO tells me that i should be happy because what's the chances? I told him well i'll be happy on it's birthday until than i'm scared as hell. I know everyone coops differently, all i can do now is hope and pray for the best, i just wish i could stop crying every time i think about the one i lost. it seems nowadays that i'm on auto pilot, i'm just not here anymore.
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