My Parenting Choices

[ladysylpher]

OK I am just writing this to get it out of my system and maybe to reference to later if I need to copy and paste parts of it.  I've been having..... lets say disagreements with my family and some of my facebook friends about our parenting choices.   I just want to outline each one here and the reasons why we do each one.  Maybe alot of you will notice that its natural parenting or attachment parenting.

1. Breastfeeding -- this one is obvious.  TONS of health benefits for baby, but also for me too! Its better for the envrionment and so easy to do (no packing bottles, etc) and saves us money on formula which if you educate yourself about it is really some quite nasty awful stuff.  I am going to breastfeed for 1 year for sure, and after that...... we will just see how it goes.

2. Babywearing --  I had either an Infantino or Baby Bjorn carrier with Serenity that someone gave me, but I was unable to use it because of her hip displaysia.  This time I bought a baby K'tan.  I just thought it would be easier to do grocery shopping and maybe cook dinner or help serenity with homework, etc.  Its nice to have your hands free with 2 kids around.  Then I learned additional benefits....... that babies cry less and are in a calm but alert state which is ideal for learning, and they aren't placed in bouncy seats, playpens, carseats, cribs, etc etc to get a flat head.  Wearing them helps them develop muscel control too (kinda like tummy time but way better)

3.  Co-sleeping --  Ok I never really planned on doing this one.  Serenity was in a bassinet next to our bed for a few weeks and then she hated it.  I tried putting her in bed with me 1 time. She hated it, I hated it.  So to her crib in her own room she went and she was happy there.  I thought it might have something to do with sleeping alone in the NICU for 2 weeks.   This time with Allie she coslept with me from day 1 in the hospital because I couldn't get up/down with my c-section pain, even tho I have a cosleeper bassinett for her and I'm hoping she will sleep in it once she starts sleeping through the night. 

4. Non CIO --  We do not use the Cry It Out method.  It is old and outdated and really not recommended at all anymore altho there are some authors who try to make more modern tame versions out of it.  But serious there has been studies that it has harmful negative effects that last a long long time.  Besides it just feels wrong to leave your baby in there crying, its gut wrenching to me and unnatural.

5. Non Spanking -- There have been conflicting studies about this one.  One study showed it was ok to use in moderation between ages 2-6 yrs.  But pretty much the rest of the studies found long term negative consequences.  Of all 26 countries in the United Nations...... we are the only ones who spank. The rest have laws against any form of corpreol punishment.  This does not mean that my children get away with everything, I am not their friend, I am their parent and they have clear rules and boundaries and consequences.  They do respect us, but that respect does not come out of fear of us.

6. ERF -- Extended Rear Facing in the carseat.  The AAP and the NHSP (national highway safety patrol) now both recommend 2 years and Im pretty sure it will become law soon after that.  Allie has a Graco MyRide65 that she can rear face up to 40 lbs.   Its just safer, plain and simple.  Here in kentucky I see alot of kids not in carseats at all or up in the front seat way before they should be, etc etc and it sickens me that they are at such risk and their parents don't care.  I even called the cops on my neighbors once for this and apparently the cop didn't care either because she got let go.

7. Cloth Diapering -- At first I just thought we did this for 2 reasons.  To help save the envroinment and to save us a bunch of money.  But since then I found other benefits.  A research article about the toxins in disposable diapers and their side effects,  and also they are just sssooo soooo cute I want to buy more in cute prints even tho I have all that I need.  And just a note -- it really is not gross or nasty or anymore extra work.  (since those are the 2 arguements I hear against doing it)

OK these are the only ones I can think of for now that everyone seems to have a problem with.  I hope that clears alot of things up and I feel much better for just writing it all down.

[catholicmamamia]

Aug. 19, 2011 at 1:25 AM

Glad you feel better.. :o)  We have much in common!

[ladysylpher]

Aug. 19, 2011 at 1:39 PM

Its annoying because so far my mom has told me I need to let my almost 3 month old CIO, and she says I need to stop breastfeeding when she starts teething or when the first tooth pops out (not sure exactly which she meant)  and I shouldn't cosleep because the baby will get dependent upon being in my bed with me right there.

And my husband and I have had a few fights on facebook with some of our friends. The biggest longest one I think was about Spanking, and ppl accussed me of trying to push my beliefs on others and tell them they are wrong when we were just trying to share knoweldge and educate people about some of the bad consequences of their parenting choices.

Ya know those parents who parent the way their parents raised them or just wing it and don't research anything or know why they do things the way they do and then get defensive and just attack you.......  but anyway, thanks for the support!! :)

(Original Poster)