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I Should Be Happy For Her...But....
- Aug 21, 2011 at 12:14 PM
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- Comments (4) Total Views (64) Everyone can see this journal post.
My sister-in-law who has four kids from her first marriage, well three actually had one child before she got married while she was in high school. My brother-in-law ended up adopting him when they got married. Anyway with my brother-in-law she has two more kids who are 7, one of the twins is autisic and has several other disabilities. One of them is a rare disorder that may end up taking his life before he is 12 - he weighs 200 lbs. Their marriage is good now but not - just month and a half ago she told they had gotten into a big fight and she was thinking of leaving him. The other day she called me - to tell me she is 8 weeks pregnant. I told her I'm happy but there's a part of me that isn't and can't be.
then to top it off - last night my dh told he is excited for his brother and sister-in-law and wants to have another baby. I looked at him and reminded him that we couldn't he told me to call the doctor and demand him to reverse things. I started crying - I told him we have our miracle and should be thankful for that - he said he is but his brother said that we can have another one wouldn't it be great to have kids at same time! I couldn't believe it was this my husband in my bed. We have been married for twenty years - we tried for years to have a baby but couldn't. My chronic anemia, thyroid problem, and tipped uterus were part of the problem,... I couldn't carry past two weeks which according to medical doesn't count as pregnancy - his low sperm count was another. We finally got good news that we could try IVF we did - and it worked. Three eggs in me - one lost at week and half, miscarriage at nine weeks and my little angel held on. Now starting kindergarten in Sept. We did try when our son was a year old again and they couldn't get any eggs -doctor met with us and told us that we were blessed indeed that we got an angel for sure. I couldn't have another baby - a few years ago I had that Novasure procedure even. Where was my husband coming from the other night - what was he thinking to propose such a thing. Especially since having my son was close call. He was delivered sucessfully by C-section but then we had close call when they couldn't stop my bleeding and I was losing too much blood. Thankfully they were able to stop me from bleeding but it was close.
I know my husband loves me and OUR Son with all his heart - and he does know deep down that we can't have another baby -if we do the baby would not survive or if it did, I wouldn't - he was told this by our doctor over the years. Like I labeled this post I know I should be happy for my sister-in-law and yes I am in a way but.................
I will keep her in my prayers and her family -because she'll need it for sure. My brother-in-law does not help her with the twins, and they are constantly fighting with each other. Having a baby is not a band-aid or a cure for any problem.
Comments:
Linda, I know what you're saying. I hope your SIL isn't getting in deeper than she can handle.
I don't think that pregnancy and fertility issues affect men the way we are affected. Your DH should have been more careful about your feelings.
Take care, Linda.
Linda
I know how you feel. I want another baby so bad. That sometimes I can not even see straight. I happy for them. But deep down I think where is my oops baby. I have to lie to my self all the time.That I dont want a baby. I still hope that I get my oops.
I also got my tubes tied. Because I went into pre term labor twice. The week before the kids were born I was in the hospital for about three days. I had very high blood pressure. I was on bed rest for about two months.
After I had the kids. I went through depression. I was in and out of that for about 2.5 years. At that time I was thinking that I had enough. So while I was in depression I got my tubes tied.
About three years ago I told Bill that I was ready to have another baby.It slipped my mind that I had my tubes tied.
I am sorry that I went all over the place.
I know too many people who have the ignorant notion that having a baby will fix a relationship. I never have seen that happen.
I hope for the best of luck to your sil and bil. And tell your hubby, sorry, take a cold shower or get a new pet.
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Oh Linda, I'm sorry. It's hard to be happy when the situation isn't ideal. I hope your SIL and BIL can work out their differences for the kid's sake, especially for the one with special needs.
Perhaps Al was caught up in the moment. It's easy to forget the struggle of getting pregnant. Give Michael a big hug for me. :)
- dlee620
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