My husband is really going upstream without a paddle in a quick way. He had said things would go back to where they were or a semblance thereof back in May. He did seem to be doing that. However, since that femail is man-less due to her own stupidity and etc, my husband is right back there up her butt. I mean come on, I did tell him that if he didnt keep his word, he'd find out what I meant by me walking out and leaving him in the dust. I am tired of being married without the pluses of that. I.e. a helper in the house, someone to cuddle with, share my day with, and have fun (wink wink). I aint getting that. So I was thinking yesterday while driving about things. Main thought, "What am I needed for from him? and What the he** am I not good enough anymore." Needless to say in short order, that my thoughts were about suicide. Then I thought of ways to do so. However, they were just thoughts. For if I live and do what I must for now til things are done and changed, he will live to see what I mean. Unfortunately its going to be him that will be the one left behind. I cant keep on waiting day by day hour by hour waiting for him to have time for me. So yes I know what to do, what the game plan is, and keep focused on it. I wished I had someone to hold me and love me, but that isnt in the cards. So when I do go, I am not going to someone else. I am going to be standing on my feet and moving forward. If you want to leave a message do so. Just no bashing ok? Thanks Hugs Have a great day!:)

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Comments:

firem...
Aug. 24, 2011 at 11:24 AM

You do what you need to do to be happy!! You deserve better.  If you need to talk just message me. 

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Lb128f
Aug. 24, 2011 at 1:31 PM

I think you have an excellent plan! You CAN do this...alone! You don't need anyone to hold you up....you've been going this alone ALL this time and you've been doing fine! You DO deserve to be treated with respect, kindness and love! And...regarding the thoughts about suicide...I think a lot of people have those thoughts at some time in their life...but, like you...they don't "act" on it because they realize it's not the answer...the answer is finding happiness and I think you are on your way! Good Luck!!!

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Cloud...
Aug. 25, 2011 at 10:53 AM

Thanks for the warm words and well wishes. Thank you for reading my post. Thank you for reminding me what I need to do so I can get where I want to be. When I am not so busy, cleaning house and etc, I will get back to you personally. Just tearing up right now for this same woman has alienated friends of mine so I have none. :( At least not here in my town. Funny thing is she told me to get off my fat lazy azz you f*ckin whore and get a job! LOL I was awaiting to put papers in for college that she was unaware of. Now who is the joke now? Btw was also told that my husband and her are going to run away and get married! Cant do that while he is married to me! Yesterday saw her and all I had  thoughts of was killing her literally but I walked away! I have plans and a future. She isnt worth losing it for. Hugs

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