Communication Assignment - Actions

[LorelNicolette]

The third section of the reflective communication paper deals with actions. 

The previous section dealt with my feelings during the experience.  It can be found here.

In this section I'm supposed to analyze whether my actions and choices aligned with my goals/expectations.  The other requirement is to explore what other options were available to me, whether I knew of them or not.  

Actions

Some of my choices aligned with my expectations, while others did not.  My main desires to have a vaginal birth and go into labor on my own were in total alignment with my choice to see the midwives in the practice.  I felt that my desires in those areas were more understood by them.  I'm sure this is why I instinctively gravitated towards scheduling my appointments with them.  On the contrary, my choice to not educate or prepare myself beyond what was offered to me by the practice and hospital did not align with my desire to try for an un-medicated birth.

The main reason for the differences, I believe, had to do with my passive nature at that stage in my life.  I didn't realize that there were other options available to me, nor did I fully understand the impact that our choices have on how things play out.  By relinquishing control to choose I allowed my reality to be defined by others. 

Looking back, I can see that my "go with the flow attitude" was really about me not wanting to be responsible for what might happen.  I think that I also was fearful that I might upset or offend the people who were helping me with a process with which I had no experience.  I think that was true for my husband too.  I presume he was hesitant to jump in and help given the clinical nature of the experience.  He was doubtful of his ability, and trusted that they knew what was best for me and the baby.  Fear was also a factor in me changing my mind about the induction.  I was not familiar with what was happening to me, nor did I know how to cope with the discomfort which caused me to grow more and more desperate with each passing day.  

I now see there were many options available to me.  Some I knew of, while others I did not.  The choices that I feel had the most influence on what happened have to do with the hospital amenities and birth preparation courses.  I had toured the hospital, and was pleased that they had showers.  I was counting on the showers for a means to cope during labor, but did not take any further action to make sure they would be available.  I feel this really set the tone for how things proceeded once I found out that our room didn't have access to a shower.  If I had called beforehand I might have been able to come to terms with their limitations or explore further options.  The birth preparation course I had taken through the practice was one that mainly covered the medical model of birth.  They briefly went over some breathing exercises and other coping methods which nobody took seriously.  Still, I chose to do nothing from there.  I had heard of Lamaze and Bradley.  Both were lengthy courses, and to be honest I was a bit skeptical of both for different reasons.  Had I looked into it further I would have learned that there are a number of independent childbirth educators as well as programs out there that would have been right up my alley. 

Other options that were available to me that I wasn't aware of at the time are birthing at home or at a free standing birth center.  I had always assumed that babies are born in hospitals.  It wasn't until I joined an online community that I discovered these other options existed.  I think both the birth and post partum experience would have been a lot more laid back and conducive to the natural process in either of those two environments.   

One option I took for granted was the ability to choose a provider outside of the practice I used for my gynecological visits.  I assumed that it was best to stay with the person who knew my history.  It never occurred to me to sit down and compare notes as far as my expectations and their beliefs surrounding childbirth.  Had I done that I might have learned that my midwife was most knowledgeable and experienced with vaginal birth in conjunction with the epidural.  I discovered this when I read some of the titles from her library when consulting with her while choosing a provider for baby #2.  Needless to say, I decided to go with a different midwife.