Communication Assignment - Application and Summary

[LorelNicolette]

The fifth section of the reflective communication paper deals with how I will apply what I have learned through reflection in my line of work as a birth professional.

The previous section dealt with my feelings now, and what I learned about myself and others.  It can be found here.

Application

I'm a pretty reflective person naturally.  Though emotions were taboo in my home growing up so I didn't have much experience until in recent years.  Becoming a parent reconnected me to the emotions I had brushed off before.  I didn't have a structure with how I reflected, which I suspect was the reason I would get surges of emotions from prior intense incidents.  Writing this assignment has actually helped me to gain closure from a couple of confrontations I had recently.  One was with a family member, and the other with our family pediatrician.  I used the model to work through the steps, and eventually came to the point where I saw what unresolved issues were bothering me.  In both cases I had shared too much in an attempt to gain understanding, but ended up creating confusion instead.  Discovering these lessons has inspired me to reflect further on other past experiences.  I'm excited to now be even more in touch with the flow of my feelings, and how to work through them more effectively. 

As far as my son's birth, I had reflected on it a number of times; even written about it.  Though when I used the reflective model to work through all the details of the events unfolding I was able to see more clearly why things happened the way they did.  For example, I was not aware that the passive way I prepared and reacted was rooted in fear.  I also now understand the deep feelings of loss I experienced more clearly. 

It has been through reflection that I've been able to work through the anger I had for hospital staff and attendants.  It was by working through my feelings that I was able to turn the experience into a source of awareness, understanding and wisdom.  I feel that I am at a better place now to serve others because of that.  I've also come to realize more clearly what my role as a support person will entail.  When I first considered the prospect, I had this idea that I would be making huge waves in the birthing community by pushing for more baby and mother friendly changes.  I now see that this is going to happen on a smaller scale as I will be making sure that the individual needs of each client are respected and honored wherever they happen to be in their journey.  

 Another lesson I have learned through reflection is that we all come to learn our individual truths in our own time.   This was true for me with the birth of my son.  I was simply not at a place where I was open to making choices different from what I saw around me.  It took me actually experiencing some pretty tough feelings to explore why the choices were not right for me.  Now that I have worked through it all I empathize better with people who struggle with discovering what is right for them.  I plan on adding to this by feeling out where people are at in their thinking so I can align my message with their needs and goals.  I've experienced first hand the wasted energy and misunderstanding that comes from sharing information that is irrelevant to where a particular person is at.  This is an area I plan on making a focal point with my clients as I believe effective communication between provider, hospital and patient is vital in order to create cooperation. 

The understanding that has come from reflection has brought me to a place where I am aware of the realities and limits of our overall maternity system.  I believe this understanding will blossom into creativity as I empower my clients to take responsibility for their experience.  My aim is to get clients in touch with their needs and expectations so that they can create a reality that will nurture and support what they want.   

Summary

During this assignment I reflected on the birth of my first born son.  I found that many of the decisions I made were the result of my own fears surrounding being responsible and upsetting the caregivers.  I also recognize that culture and lack of resources played a big part in how things went down.  This exercise has helped me to pinpoint exactly why things happened as they did, and what I could have done differently.  It helped me to confront unresolved issues that had been dormant until now.  I feel that the understanding I have gained will help me to educate and support other women in achieving the births they desire by empowering them to recognize that they create their reality with the choices they make during pregnancy and birth.  The understanding I've gained by working through each step in the reflective model has given me confidence and armed me with tools that I will actively use as a birth professional.