what am i thinking?

[katatrinakay]

i woke up this morning, shaking.  i wondered why... i got up, went to the bathroom, chugged a glass of water and laughed at myself for wondering why i'm shaky.  you're an idiot katrina.  a glass of water...saved the day...this time...

its been forever since i've written here, so i figure, why the hell not....?  lets be brutally honest..  quit holding back.

my asshole ex called me a few hours ago.  the phone conversation ended with yelling.  he says i'm a piece of garbage.  a shitty mother...  he called me retarded..  what else. 

i'm numb.  i'm totally and completely numb.  i had to get out of the house.  i'm at my mother's now....  equally as alone as i was at home...  nobody's here..change of scenery i guess. 

i took the kids to mcdonalds this morning......in my sweatpants...  then we went to walmart....me and my three kids under six...still in my sweatpants... ran into menards, sweatpants still...yep, i'm that mom?

i tend to wonder if there are other moms like me.  a. single, b. three kids, c. all three kids under six, d.....d.....d is for depressed...........or dumb...for having three kids with an ASSHOLE........

downward spiral.

i am so mad at myself.....