BIRDS & THE BEES

[aluca]

Though I knew it was time to approach the subject with my 10 year old son, I had been putting the conversation off for some time. Don't get me wrong, as an educator I am well aware of the appropriate way & age to discuss the "birds and the bees" with your children. I also know the importance of doing so yourself, rather than leaving it to somebody else. I've even instructed many parents in the past on exactly how to go about it. Yet, believe it or not when it was my turn, with my firstborn son, I was actually dreading it.

I began slowly easing into it by opening up the lines of communication. Open  ended questions such as, "Do you have any questions you want to ask me about, you know like about girls, or girls and boys, anything?" I then went on to let him know that he can talk to me about everything and anything, even if he felt a little uncomfortable, or thought I may not like what he was saying. I reassured him that I would always love him, and be willing to talk, even if I didn't like what he was saying. 

After having a few of those 5 minute conversations over a period of a couple of months, I knew that I had to jump in and get on with it. One beautiful afternoon, as I lay on the hammock out back, Roman came to join me. I dove right in. I told him that I wanted to speak to him about the birds and the bees, and asked if he had any questions, before I started talking. He said, "Just one…which one's the bird & which one is the bee?" Thoroughly amused, I told him that I honestly didn't know, but it was a great question. I wasn't sure of where the term "birds and bees" first originated from. Finally, I asked my son to go ahead and tell me everything he knew about the topic,  that I would follow up, and expand on what he already knew, as well as answer any question he might have. 

As it turns out, he knew much more than I expected. When asked where he learned those things, he told me that he had heard other boys talking in school over the past couple of years, and gathered the information in his head. I then spoke to him about integrity, respecting our bodies, consequences, and appropriate age & timing. All in all, things went way better than I expected. I thought to myself, had I known  our talk would go so well, I would've done it much sooner than I had. So, if any of you parents are out there biting your nails, losing sleep, or just basically procrastinating having "the big discussion", relax! As was the case with me, it'll probably exceed your expectations, going way better than you planned. Whatever the situation, just do it! When all is said and done, it is far better that your children learn about these things, and other important issues from you. Having this dialog, not only ensures that they are armed and informed, but it opens up lines of communication, paving the way for trust. When they face difficulties in the future, and they will, who will they look to? That's right, YOU!

Written by

Angie R. Lucarini