The birth of Paige Elizabeth

[Mep291]

It has taken me 4 weeks to find time and feel comfortable enough about my experience to finally put it in writing. I will refer to Paige as she, but keep in mind at the time we had no idea that she was a girl.

In the weeks leading up to her birth I was scared to put it lightly. I knew she was big and I knew she was more then likely posterior like our first.

I was due October 27th and although I knew she would be late I was thinking 3-4 days late. Nope. The contractions started Thursday November 3rd along with nasty brown discharge (TMI). They started out at 11 minutes apart and progressed to 6 over the course of about 3 hours in the evening. They stayed at 6 minutes apart for 2-3 hours and then they stopped. They did the exact same thing on Friday night and again Saturday. By Sunday morning I was frustrated to say the least.

Sunday night the contractions started right on schedule but they were different this time. They hurt like hell. They were ranging from 5-6 minutes apart and lasting 30-45 seconds. I went to bed expecting to wake up and have them gone again but to my surprise I woke up at 2AM because I could no longer sleep through them. YES!! I called my mom to come to the house to hang out with me and be there to take our two year old when it was time to go to the hospital. To my dismay...they never got closer together. They stayed 5 minutes apart all day! Finally at 6PM Monday I went to L&D to see what was going on. I was having good contractions but I was not dilating, I had thinned 50% (up from 0 a few days prior) but I was heartbroken to learn that all my pain was doing nothing. We scheduled an induction for 8PM Tuesday night. As much as I didn't want to be induced I was okay with this because I was so exhausted and DONE.

Monday night I was still having horrible contractions...I went to bed at 9 and woke up at 11 because they were so strong. I tried to sleep but I woke up with every contraction and had to have my husband press on my lower back with each one.  At 2:30AM I finally decided to give up on sleeping and get up. I was thrilled to discover that I was having some light bleeding (yay for bloody show lol). I called my mom and she came over again. This was it....the contractions were so bad. I had to breathe and rock through every one. "Thank God" I thought!! My mom kept me company until 7 when she took Grant to her house. I tried to nap through the morning but the pain was too great. We decided to go walk at Wal-mart which at first was a good idea. I was having to stop and breathe and lean on Jon through every contraction and although I was in pain I was so thrilled to finally be getting there. After a few hours I was done completely...I wanted to go to the hospital and see that my pain was not in vain.

We got to the hospital at about 2PM and to my delight when they checked me I was 5cm!!! Thank you Lord! I cried my eyes out to hear that I was not suffering for nothing and that soon our baby would be here! They got me into a room, checked me in, monitored for a few minutes, and then let me go walking. I walked all afternoon and my husband was having too much fun watching how quickly my mood would change. When I was not having a contraction I was happy and excited and I was MEAN during them (oops lol!!).

I met the doctor that would be delivering at around 5PM. She quickly informed me that she would be breaking my water. I told her I didn't want my water broken and she immediatly cocked an attitude. She checked me and foudn that I was 7cm. While checking me she kept squeezing my water and trying to break my water with her hand. I finally yelled at her to stop and the nurse had to tell her to stop. This is when I knew we were going to have problems. She stood up and yelled "WELL IT'S GOING TO HAVE TO BE BROKEN AT SOME POINT!" and stormed out.

I got up and walked some more. The room was all set up, the warmer was on, the nurses were expecting me to be done by about 7-8PM. I was not so sure. With each contraction I could feel her head on my pubic bone and I knew that she was posterior with the back labor I was having. Grant was posterior, he was big, he took 3 hours to push out, I was afraid.

The doctor came back in around 9PM I think and checked me because I was really in a lot of pain now ( still no pain medicine at all). She checked me and I was 9.5CM!!!! YESSSSSS! She told me that if we broke my water I would probably be done in about half an hour. In  most cases this is probably true..and I wanted so badly to believe it because I was in agony at this point. So I bit the bait and let her break my water.

I walked and walked, doing squats, hands-and-knees, anything to help baby move down. But I knew she wasn't moving down at all. At this point I started to panic...I thought she was never going to come down, it was never going to end,  and at times I thought I was dying lol. After two long hours of excruciating back labor I asked to me checked again. 7CM. Wait, did I just say 7??? Yes, 7CM. So how did I go from 9.5CM when the doctor checked me at 9PM to 7CM when the nursed checked me TWO HOURS LATER at 11PM. I have no idea. My guess is that the doctor lied to get me to let her break my water. Thanks a lot Doc.

I was crushed...so unbelievably upset. How could I have suffered so much and gone back 2.5CM?! I decided to walk a little more but by an hour later I was done. I made it to 8 but I was done. Days of prodromal labor, 20 some hours of active...I was done. I asked for the epidural and while I was waiting informed the nurse that if she didn't hurry I would be dead before they got there lol. I finally got my epidural at midnight and it was wonderful. For the first time in days I was not in pain. But the interventions started almost as soon as the anesthesiologist walked out.

My doctor began to mock the contractions I had been having saying they were weak so we needed to get pitocin started. I said no, we could wait half and hour and if they didn't pick up maybe we could start it. She yelled "I have been doing this since 1984 and there is no way this is going to work. I will bet you ten thousand dollars it doesn't work and I feel like getting rich tonight!" And then she stormed out again.

Half an hour later we started Pitocin. (I was 9.5cm at this point, I just had some cervix around the edges left and my cervix was starting to swell) A few minutes later my nurse came in and told me to sit up and put some oxygen on me. She then informed us that "baby is fine, your baby is perfectly okay, do not worry!"...we didn't understand why she was saying all of this until the doctor came running in "This baby is in distress we need to get it out!". I told her I was not having a c-section. She then proceeded to yell at me "this baby is never going to come out this way, why don't we save ourselves some time and admit that now, let's not waste time pretending this is going to be a vaginal birth!" (I had an ultrasound done two days before she was born and the weight estimate was 10.7 and my doctor used this number to scare me throughout my entire labor. She even went as far as to tell me that baby could be as big as 11.7 and never mentioned she could also be as small at 8 or 9 pounds) She told me we would give it an hour and if I hadn't finished dilating it would be a section. Again, she stormed out. At this point I was left in the room with my husband after just being made to feel like an idiot for wanting a vaginal birth. Being made to feel bad for knowing my baby was perfectly safe and didn't need to be sectioned out. I cried my eyes out. I was tired, sore, angry, hurt, embarrassed, and scared to death.I knew there was a chance she would not come out vaginally but I refused to show that doctor that I had any doubts.

A little less then an hour later my nurse came in and did a sneak check lol. She told me I still had a tiny bit of cervix left and we could try pushing through it if I wanted. I was willing to do anything so we went for it. It took quite a few pushes but finally we got past it! SCORE! She had me go ahead and start pushing for real. It was cool because with Grant I don't think I ever felt the urge to push through the epidural...this time the urge was unbelievable! We started pushing at 2AM. This is when I found out just how much of a monster my doctor really was.

We had been pushing for probably half an hour when she finally came in. The first thing she did was tell me "haha...this baby has not moved at all!"  ARE YOU SERIOUS? Why on earth would you tell me that?! She then proceeded to stand at the end of the bed and taunt me for the next two hours. My husband would say "You are doing great! The baby is really moving. That was a great push, etc" and would stand there LAUGHING saying "oh that baby really isn't moving at all, that's a weak push, this baby is not coming out" NO joke at all. I decided I needed a mirror pretty soon into pushing and it really did help.

I worked my butt off and pushed and pushed. Sure enough she was posterior AND tilted sideways!!! Once she finally straightened out a little she started moving down some.

Finally it was almost delivery time. The doctor pushed the mirror away so I couldn't see it (keep in mind I had been using it for 2 hours) and I said "you aren't really using that anyways", I said "Yes, I am" and she again YELLED "well what is more important, seeing it or getting the baby out??" IDIOT, SEEING IT IS WHAT IS GETTING THE BABY OUT!!!

Finally she crowned. OMG is all I can say...she had one BIG head!! Right after her head came out the doctor said "lift your butt up" ( I guess she needed to put something under me...couldn't you have done that while you were standing there for a few hours?!". I tried but there is no way I could lift up. I said "I can't". And this was the best example of monster doctor of all....she SCREAMED "YOU NEED TO QUIT ACTING LIKE A BABY AND ACT LIKE A MOTHER!" WHATTTTTTT?!?!?!!?! I had no time to react at all, she grabbed baby and pulled her out before I could say anything. She nonchalantly said "oh it's a girl" and handed her off. With Grant I felt a sense of relief when he was born. With Paige I didn't at all. Her chest was stuck and when she was pulled out it was the most awful feeling I have ever felt. I cried and cried...it was a mixture of excitement, thanks, anger, and pain. I hated that I felt violated in so many ways.

I waited 42 weeks to find out the gender, I made it very clear that my husband would tell me what baby was, and I desperately wanted my baby laid on my chest (2 births, no babies on my chest). At the very least she could have announced the gender with some enthusiasm not just...o it's a girl.

Paige went over for deep suctioning because of meconium. She had a fever and she was breathing too quickly. They brought her over to me and I got to hold her for maybe 2 minutes and then they took her and Jon went with her. The doctor delivered the placenta, stitched me up (VERY tiny tear), and then walked out. She NEVER once said congratulations or even goodbye. She walked out. So there I was, without my baby, angry, and so hurt that I had been treated so badly and the day I had waited so long for  turned out like this.

The nursery kept Paige for 4 hours and finally brought her back because she was perfectly okay. She is a great baby, so so easy. I could not have made it through this birth without Jon and my nurse...they were amazing. At the of the day even though this birth was traumatic and nothing like what I wanted, I did delivery her vaginally, she is healthy as can be, and I am learning to forgive the doctor.

So now...for the stats!!

Paige Elizabeth

November 9th, 2011 at 41 weeks 6 days

9 Pounds 13 ounces 22.5 inches

Head-14.5

Chest-15

[AlinaM]

Dec. 13, 2011 at 9:43 PM

She is beautiful, congratulations! I can't believe a doctor would act like that, that's crazy.